Thursday Is The Best Day Of The Week. Fight Me.
Rebecca Black and The Easybeats had Friday on their minds. Elton John, Saturday. U2, Sunday. The Mamas & The Papas, Monday. Drake helped ILoveMakonnen go up on a Tuesday. They all picked the wrong day.
Friday is such a frontrunner. Work drinks you’d deserve if you'd applied yourself. Nurses and firies deserve Friday drinks. Saving lives. But apparently your job is to send emails to get sh*t off your plate at the last-minute, after you spent all week down TikTok rabbit holes on toilet breaks instead.
Saturday is a myth. You ruined half of it by giving Friday a nudge. Then spent two hours in the screws and fasteners aisle at Bunnings because you’re a total DIY pretender. Anxiety because you have no Saturday-worthy plans. Anxiety to come up with flimsy excuses to duck your mates’ unworthier plans. Anxiety because you smashed a bag of corn chips for dinner and a second bag is staring lustily at you. Never have a second bag. It’s filled with regret. Ancient proverb.
Sunday is guilt. You’ve wasted your weekend. Again. Or one of your cheap friends has a Sunday wedding and you can’t get destroyed on a school night. Again. But you do.
Monday is the most annoyingly motivated person you know. Monday puts the 5:01am sticker on their Instagram story while it’s doing one armed push-ups as the sun rises. But you’ve already snoozed all nine of your alarms. Twice.
Tuesday, aka 'Real Monday', is a dark horse for best day. The first day your soul returns to your body after depraving it with booze/drugs/cheese. And/or driving your kids to sports/birthday parties/recitals/therapy all weekend. Tuesdays are peak pub trivia night; a cheeky early week schooner. Or mixed netball where you can briefly forget you peaked in second year uni.
Wednesday = Hump Day. F**k Wednesday.
But Thursday. Thursday is chill AF.
No one takes your Thursday. It’s yours.
Thursday was named after Thor – Norse god of Hemsworth. But only after Taika figured out the formula in Thor: Ragnarok. That movie was dope.
Thursday is the getting sh*t done day. You’re fully into the swing of the week and you’re closing deals. Answering every phone call with “Buy! Sell! Buy!” – even though it’s just your mum and she’s wondering why you never call her anymore.
Thursday restaurants are the best. Strong chance of a good reservation. Outside chance if you walk-in on a whim. You’re out for dinner and it’s not even the weekend!
Thursday you can bend it a bit. Open that second bottle of wine. Treat yourself. Monday hangovers are hell. Judgy hangovers. Emails to HR hangovers. Hangovers after Thursday are a badge of honour, you’re on the home straight. Everyone checks out at lunchtime on Fridays anyway.
Thursday is the thinking person’s day. People always pick Friday, Saturday or Sunday because those days are the footy team captains; the vapid cheerleaders of the week. But Thursday is the person you meet at uni. Thursday is into art galleries, vinyl records, Malbec and is more adventurous in the bedroom.
You have one-night stands with every other day of the week. You fall in love with Thursday.