A Letter To Fathers On Mother's Day
Dear wonderful dads and partners,
I am about to give you some solid gold advice on how to make the mums in your life happy and I can tell you it isn’t buying her a mini scented candle from the pharmacy.
For Mother's Day 2020, all us mums want is some space -- physical and mental space -- because lately we haven’t had much much of either.
The BEST thing my husband Jules could say to me that morning would be, ‘hey babe, here’s a coffee; the kids and I will make ourselves scarce for a few hours’.
Then I’ll kiss their beautiful faces and be left with my coffee in peace.
Oh YESSSSSSSS! Alone time with a coffee and a book is my dirty mum-fantasy.
I enjoy scented candles and fluffy slippers as much as the next woman but with spas, shops, gyms, cafés, pubs and beaches closed this year -- and thus nowhere for us to escape to or celebrate in -- we need our partners to help us find some personal space and luxury vibes at home.
Over the years of being a parent, I have learned how important finding space is to my emotional health.
Being a mum in non-pandemic conditions is hard enough. In 2020? Whoa -- we mums are not okay. Personally, I am feeling overwhelmed, knackered and guilty about every little thing.
Back before corona, I knew that getting out and away from a crying baby or toddler was good for me and luckily, I have always had a supportive partner in Jules.
When he could see I was feeling upset or stressed, he would either take the boys out or bundle me out the door to go for a walk and a coffee. Inevitably, I would return feeling brighter. I would do the same for him too.
Space and time away from the kids helped me to re-energise. Whether it was exercise, work, drinking wine with the ladies -- all valid activities that have helped to make me a happier human and less cranky mum.
But with all the home-schooling and self-isolation rules right now, our delicate but ordered balance of family and non-family time has been shot to pieces.
I cannot lie, I have been a grumpy arse at times but then my kids haven’t always been angels either.
It has been tough for parents and kids alike and so partners and dads (and kids) -- here is your chance to put a big smile on mum’s face for Mother’s Day 2020.
I understand that with many restrictions in place it is not as easy for you to take the kids out all day, but unless you live in a studio flat, you can at least keep them entertained -- in another room.
I am imagining that after my bed-delivered barista coffee I will escape for a long walk in the sunshine.
Then I’ll have to sneak in the back door so they don’t realise I am home, while I take cover in bed under the doona with books, snacks and Netflix on my phone.
There’s limited possibility for luxury high teas or brunches out this year, but in my opinion there’s also no need for grand gestures at home.
Rather than trying to make a fancy breakfast, bringing it in on a tray and then staring while we eat, why not just keep it simple for all of us? Give hugs (and possibly coffee) only and then leave us to luxuriate in some precious time alone...
Honestly, dear dads and partners, we love you but put that candle down and gift us some time and space and I guarantee you a happy mum.
Oh, and if you must buy something, a bottle of wine in the fridge is always welcome.
Featured Image: Supplied