Clementine Ford: Note To Men: Your Daughter's Vagina Does Not Belong To You
Here’s the grossest news you’ll hear all week!
T.I., a misogynist rapper who clearly also has intense boundary issues, revealed this week that he is creepily obsessed with the state of his daughter’s vagina. Appearing on the podcast Ladies Like Us, T.I. was asked whether or not he had had the ‘sex talk’ with his two teenage daughters. Turns out that he has! But also, he’s a weird pervert who subjects at least one of his daughters to annual gynaecological exams to check she still has a hymen! Dad! Ew!
Speaking to the hosts, T.I. proudly stated he attends medical appointments with his daughter Deyjah (now 18) and makes sure she checks the box on her forms that gives consent to her vagina doctor to share private, personal information about her body with the man who once rapped, “I never f**k a bi**h if she don’t do her hair/No more, you won’t get no d**k if there’s a bush down there/Girl I should see nothing but pu**y when I look down there.”
Strolling down memory lane, T.I. recalls fondly, “So it’s this one time we go, I think this might have been after her 16th birthday, this is what we do... Usually, like the day after the [birthday] party, she’s enjoying her gifts. I put a sticky note on the door: ‘Gyno. Tomorrow. 9.30.’"
(Sidenote: I sincerely hope that gift swag includes the number of a good lawyer and a voucher for a lifetime of therapy.)
He continues. Because of course he does!
“So we’ll go and sit down, and the doctor will come and talk and the doctor’s maintaining a high level of professionalism,” he said. “He’s like, ‘Well, you know sir, I have to, in order to share information’ -- I’m like, ‘Deyjah, they want you to sign this… so we can share information. Is there anything you would not want me to know? See doc? No problem’.”
The highly professional medical doctor participating in this grossly unethical farce then turns to the Chief of the Hymen Police and informs him that, actually, hymens break all the time and that this natural rupturing has very little to do with another man claiming what you view as your rightful property (because let’s be honest, that’s the real concern of all men who are obsessed with the sanctity of their daughters’ foyers). Unsurprisingly for a man who thinks a vulva is called an ‘uvula’, these facts have no value.
But I’ll let T.I. tell it.
“So then they say, ‘I just want you to know there are other ways besides sex that the hymen can be broken. Like bike riding, athletics, horseback riding, and just other forms of athletic physical activity.’ So I said, ‘Look, doc, she don’t ride no horses, she don’t ride no bikes, she don’t play no sports. Just check the hymen, please. And give me back my results expeditiously.”
My results. My results. Because I own my daughter and I get to decide when, where and what happens to her body.
What a piece of s*it.
It’s worth noting that T.I. once said he didn’t believe a woman should ever be elected to the position of president, because “I just know that women make rash decisions emotionally, they make very permanent, cemented decisions and then later, it’s kind of like it didn’t happen, or they didn’t mean for it to happen.”
Oh, you mean like the kind of decision that has you going on a podcast and broadcasting your daughter’s private medical information to the entire world while also letting everyone know that you spend way too much time thinking about her vagina?????
I can’t believe this even needs to be stated, but I think subjecting your daughter (or anyone, for that matter) to intrusive, violating and just damn unsound ‘virginity’ tests is a form of sexual and psychological abuse. The World Health Organization, UN Human Rights and UN Women have called virginity testing “medically unnecessary, and oftentimes painful, humiliating and traumatic”.
But also, this is basic patriarchal bulls*it and T.I. is far from the only perpetuator of it. There may be only a few people who don’t feel a huge YIKES about his behaviour in particular, but it sits in the same wheelhouse as more accepted forms of commentary about fathers ‘protecting’ their daughters from the nefarious intentions of other men.
Consider the jokes about fathers waiting on porches with shotguns, not letting their daughters date until they’re 35 or subjecting potential boyfriends to intimidating di*k-swinging contests to prove who’s really in charge. Haha! It’s funny because we know what men are really like and I don’t want them treating my precious porcelain doll the way I’ve treated other men’s property in the past!!!!!! NOT ON MY WATCH!
Note to men: Your daughter’s body does not belong to you. What she does with her genitals is none of your f**king business. Stop thinking about her nether regions -- or "sex box", as T.I. calls his wife’s vagina, over which he also claims 50 percent ownership -- and empower her to understand that the only person who gets to say what happens to her body is her.
And by the way, ‘virginity’ isn’t real -- it’s a cis-heteronormative construct designed to keep women from becoming fully empowered sexual beings who not only dictate the terms around their own sexual desire and enjoyment but also refuse to participate in a system that frames cis men’s di*ks as being so powerful they can fundamentally change the essence of any human they insert themselves into have as much sex as you want to ladies #getitgirl