What To Do When Kangaroos Attack Your Family
This week in NSW, a five-year-old boy was playing in his backyard when a kangaroo tried to "maul" him.
Last month, a jogger was knocked unconscious by a "rogue" kangaroo with "a chest the size of two State of Origin rugby league players".
In October of last year, just outside of Brisbane, a kangaroo grabbed a man by the head and kicked him in the stomach.
And you don't even want to know what happened to the paraglider who found himself on the business end of a one-two kangaroo punch. (He's fine.)
All of these people survived their attacks, but the message is clear: the kangaroo is a beast to be reckoned with.
Whilst tourists swarm to Australia to take cute pictures with Skippy, let’s not forget that kangaroos are basically giant ripped rabbits with claws, who can disembowel you at a moment’s notice.
Here is your guide to the risks associated with the most swole marsupial down under...
Whilst they may seem cute, kangaroos are dangerous animals prone to scratch potential threats and use their massive hind legs to kick and, in some cases, gut their opponents.
According to the National Coronial Information System, there were 18 confirmed kills by a kangaroo between 2000 – 2010.
READ MORE: Family Survives Horrifying Kangaroo Attack
Most of these are because Kangaroo Jack hopped in front of a ute, killing the driver, with roo collisions accounting for nine out of 10 road accidents involving animals. It’s estimated that kangaroo crashes are costing Aussie drivers about six million dollars a year.
Although it’s unlikely that a roo will kill you in a direct confrontation, it will try to punch, maul or generally eviscerate you when provoked.
Don't try to box it, what's the matter with you?
Whilst certain drunken yobbos of this great land think kangaroo boxing is a national sport, any act of aggression against wildlife could land you in prison.
Kangaroos are protected under state and territory laws regarding animal cruelty, with penalties ranging from one to seven years in prison for an offence.
READ MORE: WATCH: Kangaroo Punches On With Paraglider As He Tries To Land
Although kangaroo hunting is allowed in some areas, shooters must obtain a license and only hunt in areas where roos are considered pests.
Whilst most animal cruelty laws contain protections for acts done in self-defence, most qualify this by saying that such actions must be reasonable in the circumstances. Take off the gloves and leave the kangaroo alone Dave!
If you see a 'roo on the street, run it over -- just kidding; please drive carefully
Whilst you are justified to be wary of Australia’s large macropods (look it up), generally they are skittish creatures who don’t attack unless provoked.
Hot tip: leave them alone.
It’s also a good idea to avoid feeding kangaroos (or any wild animal) as that just incentivises them to approach humans.
If a roo appears aggressive, the general advice is to get low to the ground and slowly back away. Attempting to act tough or scare a kangaroo is likely to result in your insides strewn across the outback.
Given that the majority of kangaroo related deaths are because one hopped through your windscreen whilst driving, slow down in areas with a high population of roos. This is particularly the case at dawn and dusk where they kangaroos are likely to be out feeding.
Be careful out there
Australia has a lot of animals that can kill you and the kangaroo is no exception. However, by following some basic safety tips and respecting our wildlife you can get by unharmed.