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Dear Olympics: Breakdancing Is Not A Sport, And Neither Are Any Of These

And they windmill and headspin their way to the top of the podium! Gold for Australia!

Breakdancing in the Olympics? Give us a break.

The International Olympic Committee this week voted unanimously in favour of including “breaking” as an event at the Paris 2024 Olympics. It will face one final review late next year before a final decision is made.

READ MORE: Breakdancing Closer To Making Debut At Olympics

The street dance style created by youth in the Bronx back in the early 1970s is one of four “sports” proposed by the Paris Organising Committee.  Three of those -- surfing, sport climbing and skateboarding -- will debut at the Tokyo Games next year.

Surfing is a sport,  but it's not Games-worthy.

Sport climbing and skateboarding, like “breaking”, are pastimes, hobbies and activities. They are not sports, and more importantly, they are certainly not worthy of a place on sport’s biggest stage of all -- the Olympics.

Would someone think of Pierre de Coubertin? The father of the modern Olympic Games would be turning in his grave. And not in a windmill kinda way.

Definitely not windmilling. (Image: Getty)

So, what’s next? Flossing? I like taking selfies, should I start strengthening my arms and perfecting my discipline for 2028?

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The 30cm relay.

Like Shane Gould at Munich in ’72 I’d probably triumph with a swag of gold medals, but that’s not the point.

READ MORE: Could This Weird New Sport Break The Olympics?

Imagine the gold rush if she'd only had a selfie stick. (Image: Getty)

Darts? Card games? Tenpin bowling with bumpers?

Break-bowling?

Rock, paper, scissors?

Straight to the podium.

Breakdancing’s inclusion is part of a push to make the sport program more gender balanced, diverse and “to offer the opportunity to connect with the younger generation,” IOC president Thomas Bach said.

Today, we’re constantly evolving and moving with the times, in all facets of life, but the Olympics is the holy grail of sport -- steeped in rich history and incredible tradition.

The Games are prestigious and definitely don’t need a modern facelift, nor do they need to cater to 'generation whatever'.

If it's good enough for Ron Clarke, it's good enough for 'generation whatever'. (Image: Getty)

Perhaps including these hobbies is more about funding from, and the influence of, the governing bodies of each “sport” rather than appealing to whipper-snappers?

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Breaking first featured as a medal sport at the Buenos Aires Youth Summer Games last year where Russia won gold, France claimed silver and Japan bronze.

B-Boys and fly-girls, compete to your hearts', jackhammers' and head-slides content, but stay in your lane and stick to your own competitions.

The Paris Games is set to feature 33 sports with about 11,000 athletes competing from around the globe, but breakdancing is not worthy of its place in the Olympic program, and if that costs Australia medals in the process, so be it.