The REAL Reason Gladys Berejiklian Won The NSW Election
Dear Gladys Berejiklian,
How are things going post-NSW election?
You must have been feeling a bit stressed last week. Opinion polls predicted a bleak outcome for the Coalition. Journalists used phrases like “tight race” and “close contest” and “minority government”. Then -- oh my goodness quick blow up the blue balloons! -- your team was elected for a third term in office.
So I just thought I’d write to say congratulations and well done. You’re the state’s very first elected female premier, too. Bloody ripper.
There’s something else, though. I mean, I don’t want to burst your bubble or anything, but I have a theory about your win.
There are many logical ways to explain the election result. Perhaps your government got re-elected because voters really liked the sound of your promised infrastructure projects. Maybe Michael Daley’s immigration comments made people too cross to vote Labor. It’s possible that the election outcome was due to minor parties and independents picking up more votes.
But I think I know the real reason voters sided with you, Gladys Berejiklian.
I think you won because YOU HAVE THE MORE INTERESTING NAME.
It’s lovely, actually. Gladys Berejiklian. When I say it slowly, the sound rolls around in my mouth like a half-melted Lindt Ball. It also feels “strong and stable”, just like you want your government to be. And imagine the Scrabble score (if indeed proper nouns were allowed)!
Michael Daley, on the other hand, has an incredibly boring name. Not his fault, I know. His mother probably married some bloke called Mr Daley, and then, when he was born in … I don’t know, let’s say 1965, Michael was a popular name, and his mother liked it, and his father liked it, and everyone agreed that the new baby did indeed look like a “Michael”. Whatever that means.
It’s okay to have a boring name if you’re a nobody. Year 10 science teacher from Coffs Harbour? Joe Blow will do fine. Middle-aged shearer with two kelpies and a 1978 panel van? Andrew Brown is perfectly acceptable. Leader of a major political party with an obligation to make public announcements? You need a memorable moniker.
According to a recent Newspoll, 24 percent of respondents said they didn’t know enough about Michael Daley to view him either positively or negatively. Okay, he’d only just got the top job in November, but I have a feeling if you asked the same question now, lots of people would still say, “Michael who?”
If I do a search for “Michael Daley” on LinkedIn I get SO MANY options. If I write “Gladys Berejiklian”, only one comes up (you!).
Aren’t you lucky that your parents had the foresight to give you such a fabulous, showbizzy name?
Musicians and movie stars understand the power of a memorable name, which is why so many create their own.
James Keogh became Vance Joy, Gordon Sumner became Sting, Elizabeth Grant became Lana Del Rey. Huge improvements there. What about the Edge? Is that what his mother called him? No! He was originally David Howell Evans (yawn). Lady Gaga is so much better than Stefani.
If someone hadn’t thought to shorten Scott Morrison to ScoMo, nobody would have a clue who our Prime Minister is.
READ MORE: Michael Daley Quits As NSW Labor Leader
Of course, if Michael Whats-his-name catches wind of this theory, he’ll be down to Births, Deaths and Marriages before you can say “Let’s get it done”.
But don’t worry, even if he does become Mickey Day or Budd Jett or The Politician Formerly Known as Michael Daley, you’ll still have your policies. You’d just need to come up with a catchier way to say “infrastructure” …