What Happened The Day Facebook And Instagram Crashed
Won't someone think of the social media producers?
On March 14, 2019 the worst possible thing happened, Facebook went down. And it didn't come back, for more than six hours.
Millions of people across Australia and the world awoke and immediately opened their phones to a blank loading screen.
I was one of them.
"Couldn't refresh the feed" mocked me on Instagram as I attempted to pretend to be interested in the lives of people who I’ve barely spoken to in years.
I thought it might be a mistake. I closed the app. Reopened it.
I bounced from Facebook, to Instagram, even WhatsApp, cycling through them like a hamster trying to figure out why I wasn't getting anywhere on the wheel.
I checked Twitter. #FacebookDown. #InstagramDown.
My friend texted me, asking to check his page.
"Can you try get on my Instagram? I can't log in on any device."
I could picture him panicking already.
"There's a global outage," I replied, immediately sorry that I was the one to tell him he wouldn't be posting a well-lit selfie and checking if an ex-boyfriend had watched his story overnight.
“Oh, thank god," he exhaled. "I'd started sweating.”
The social-pocalypse had hit civilisation.
A mum somewhere in Sydney's eastern suburbs couldn’t log on to Facebook to tell the Kmart Hacks group that she thought Carol's use of a hat rack as a toilet roll holder was a f**king travesty.
The world was not the same as yesterday.
On Instagram, semi-naked fitness models were wiped from my consciousness. Ads for skinny teas that make you shit yourself vanished from existence. Praise the Lord! Maybe I’d feel okay about my body today.
I trudged into the bathroom.
Dear god, would I have to read the back of a toothpaste tube?
I started thinking of what my last MySpace password was. I considered resurrecting my Bebo account. Maybe I'd need MSN Messenger back with a classic username like •?((¯°·._.• ąℓ€ж ąɲą$ţą$$ɨ๏µ •._.·°¯))؟•
There was still Twitter. There was always Twitter.
People across the platform screaming into their phones, asking why the free social media site they waste their time on isn't working, on the other free social media site they waste their time on.
Social media managers across the globe staring listlessly at a screen as their content lists begin to concertina like a multiple-car collision that you can't look away from.
I'm one of them.
There are so many stories to share. So many sassy replies to send. My employer was going to realise that this website might not crash without me after all.
Would they want a refund for the day's 'work'?*
Facebook makes $50 billion in advertising revenue a year. Six hours down, would they start handing out refunds?
Would they refund my employer? Would 10 daily get their money back for a social media producer that was rendered useless by this outage?
There are no predictions on when Facebook and Instagram will be back.
This was the dawning of a new day. I’d take less than a month to read a book, I’d have to ask my friends what they had for breakfast. I couldn’t wait for this new chapt—
Oh, it’s back online.
*My editor just said yes. Bastard.