The UK Might Be Heading For Brexit Apocalypse And I Secretly Can’t Wait To Watch
I don’t mean to alarm/excite anybody but the United Kingdom might currently be speeding towards the type of apocalyptic drama we’re all so obsessed with.
I know I’m not alone in my love of watching society decay and crumble amid --admittedly fictional -- natural disasters and wars. Just think of movies such as 'Armageddon' and 'Cloverfield Lane', or recent TV shows like 'The Handmaid’s Tale', 'The Walking Dead' or 'The 100'. (Or, for that matter the Morrison Federal Government.) We simply love watching shit go totally bad.
For those unaware, Britain is in the process of setting fire to the key geopolitical relationship that has delivered it security, prosperity and relevance over the past 40 years: membership of the European Union.
Basically, some opportunistic pollies lied to the British people saying they could have a Brexit (“British exit”) without any pain or suffering. Since then, these MPs have ghosted the public, buggering off without offering any real plan for how this all might work.
In reality -- and this is where things gets fun/horrifying -- Britain is heading for a world of pain on par with all the very best flashback scenes from our favourite post-apocalyptic TV dramas.
Just consider these headlines from the past few months:
- No-deal Brexit plans put 3,500 troops on standby
- Food shortages could hit within days of no-deal Brexit
- Plan to evacuate queen if Brexit goes bad
- NHS trusts 'could run out of medical supplies' without Brexit deal
- 'I will order the Navy to replace Channel ferries': Defence Secretary
Just to reiterate: troop deployments. Food rationing. Medicine shortages. Plans to evacuate the Monarch! This is getting real.
If the epic fail Fyre Festival taught us anything it’s that seemingly rational humans will descend into Lord Of The Flies level fighting within HOURS of food scarcity and hardship being thrust upon them.
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Keep in mind, Britain is a nation that lights flares, riots and, tragically, beats its wives and girlfriends when its soccer team loses. So why should we expect anything less after Brexit?
World War Two was a long time ago and I wonder how much Churchillian stoicism the modern Brit really has left.
This all makes me feel very conflicted. Inside my 35-year-old body resides a 15-year-old boy. All this talk of high-stakes political posturing and military manoeuvring does excite me. It’s just like the films of my youth.
But I have to keep reminding myself: this isn’t a movie. These are not actors. Bruce Willis isn’t coming to save the day.
This is real life.
If all the worst-case scenarios of a so-called ‘Hard Brexit’ were to unfold the lives of millions of people would get worse.
Some would get sick, others might even die. The global forces of xenophobia and isolationism would get a boost. The world might even inch closer to armed conflict.
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So for those of us watching Brexit with a sense of detached glee, please join me in toning down your excitement.
There’s little meaningful assistance Australia can offer the millions of regular people caught up in Brexit.
The one thing we can do is not smile while Britain burns.