I May Have Sex With Married Men But I'm Just Earning A Living, Same As You
Last Monday I enjoyed three hours with a man who wanted to get kinky while telling me how much I looked like his mother, who he was attracted to.
We finished our session with some watersports.
My next client of the day wanted me to stick my fingers up his bum and talk dirty to him.
Sex work is an interesting world where nothing is the same each day. I walk through the world thinking to myself, civilians have no idea what I get up to.
But, the truth sex workers are hiding from you is, we are just average people like you. Ninety percent of our days are spent on admin, where we update our websites, pay for advertising, post on twitter and other social media, take selfies, organise and pay for photoshoots, field email and text enquiries at all hours, do our taxes.
We also deal with an incredible amount of time-wasting. Clients who text us to dirty talk while they pleasure themselves, or make fake bookings to waste our time. It can be incredibly exhausting to deal with.
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The industry is incredibly up and down. Sometimes I can see four clients a week, other times especially around Christmas time, I can go weeks without a booking. Just like any freelancer, you don’t know where your next money is coming from. People have this presumption that sex workers are all incredibly privileged, rich, and rolling in it.
This is not true. Different workers also have different rates. Some are independent escorts like me, others work in a brothel where the house takes 50 percent of the fee. I charge $300 an hour, some charge $500 an hour. I know $500 an hour workers who struggle as much as survival workers doing $100 an hour so they can feed their kids. We also easily splash $1000 a month on advertising.
There is no one image of what a sex worker looks like, we come in all colours, genders, size, ethnicities, and sexualities.
In the same breath, clients are never the same old either. I’ve had clients that range from married men looking for some excitement, to young guys just wanting some fun, international students, older gents, couples, female clients looking to explore their sexuality, travelling businessmen. There is an idea society tells us of what a ‘punter is’ but it is certainly untrue, a punter can be anyone.
Each client is after something different. For me, I offer pro sub fetish bookings, I offer a girlfriend experience, and I take clients to swingers parties. My bookings can range from dinner dates at Cumulus Inc talking about the client's business ventures, to being tied up in rope and spanked, to helping the client explore group sex at a swingers party, to just chatting and sensually exploring with the client.
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Why talk about this now? It’s important to breathe new light into how we talk about the sex industry. It is faceted and varied. In a world where our governments are talking about implementing the ‘Nordic Model’, which would criminalise clients and not workers and has proven to be incredibly dangerous to workers. If clients are criminalised they will not let us screen them by providing IDs for instance, and that will lead to workers dying.
There is a renewed push by sex worker peer organisations like Scarlet Alliance and Vixen Collective, to get decriminalisation in Victoria and states like South Australia, SA being the only state where sex work is still illegal. Decriminalisation would mean all criminal laws relating to sex work would be removed and it would be regulated like any other work.
The sex work industry seems mysterious and an unknown to many people, but your take away from this article is, yes our lives are crazy. We experience things most people would be shocked by.
But at the end of the day, even if you spend your days making men old enough to be your father call themselves dirty little piggies and punish themselves, we are still normal people. Uni students, married housewives working on the side, and so on.
Sex workers are people too, and I can bet you, you’ve met one and never known.