The Best Day Of The Year To Propose
Popping the big question? Read this first.
I just found out that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are the most popular days for proposals…. with New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day a close second.
That’s wild. Why wouldn’t you propose in June? literally…NOTHING happens in June.
So if you're planning on popping the question at Christmas lunch, here are some tips on what to do, and not do.
DO it in front of your cousin who thought you would never get married and called you fat as a child. Look who’s fat AND engaged now Sarah."
DO take it personally if your friends don't text you back after you tell them your news on Christmas Eve or Christmas. This is your day. How dare they be so selfish.
DO make sure all of your nieces and nephews are clothed and not nude or weeing if you're filming or taking pics. Unless you wanna go viral -- then I would say get your whole family nude and propose. Get dem views.
DO remember that a ring is not a Christmas gift, she will also want a Christmas gift also so bring a Sportsgirl voucher too.
DO make Christmas all about you and your engagement. If someone has recently had a baby, make sure you repeat. “This is our day.”
DO start being a bridezilla once you get engaged. Scream “I’m the bride” so you get more seafood and rumballs.
DO pick a good spot -- like a lounge or a pool. Don’t do it in front of your uncle’s porn room or the toilet. (Well depends how nice the toilet is.)
DON'T propose it in front of a recently divorced aunt or a cousin who’s been sad and single for 20 years. She'll be triggered and pissed off for the rest of the day and bring it up for years later.
DON'T be so drunk you propose to your cousin.
DON'T propose if an elderly family member is potentially dying –- read the room. Wait for them to die -- then propose.
READ MORE: The Proposal That Didn't Go To Plan
DON'T put the ring in her Christmas wine -- because she will skoll that to get though the pain of hanging out with family and you’ll never see your Michael Hill again.
DON'T kiss with full tongue and touch each other’s genitals when she/he says yes. Just high-five and eat the trifle.
DON'T propose after lunch -- everyone will be passed out from day drinking so you’ll be celebrating with a dog and your pop half watching the cricket
READ MORE: What To Do When Your Ex Gets Engaged?
Now it’s time to think about how you’re going to post it on Facebook and Instagram and, more importantly WHEN.
Because there's gunna be a lot of left hands with rings and excited faces in your newsfeed on Christmas Day. Prouds is gunna have a field day.