A Theory: Natalie Imbruglia Is An Ageless Witch Who's Using Us All
Hello friends, and welcome to my TED Talk.
It's ARIA Awards night -- the Australian music industry's Night Of Nights! In the lead up to this extremely entertaining and prestigious event, I spent some time reflecting on the 1998 ARIA Awards. They seemed fun!
READ MORE: ARIA Awards 2018: Here Are The Nominees
During my research, I was reminded that it's been 20 years since Natalie Imbruglia basically swept the awards for her debut single "Torn", and album, Left of the Middle. This led me down a rabbit hole, and I've since stumbled across a theory that I'd like to share with you all today.
The theory is this: Natalie Imbruglia is a witch, kept young by one simple incantation: "Did you know that 'Torn' is a cover?"
If by some miracle you're unaware of this fact, welcome to the internet, I'm sorry you've missed every viral post about this for the last 20 years.
With the witchy knowledge that this fact would become a a fun party fact for people to break the ice with, a talking point for the Twitterati for years to come, a viral trend for people to get easy likes with, Natalie had the foresight to harness the power of us all to stay young forever. Clearly, she did a spell in which every time someone utters this simple phrase, her ageing process freezes for a year, thus explaining why Natalie has not aged a day since 1998.
Let's take a look at these receipts.
WELL? I REST MY CASE. GO TO BED, CASE!!!
Images: Getty Images