Sydney's The Trophy Wife But Melbourne’s 'The One' You Should Marry

We’re all looking for ‘the one'.

The kind that makes you want to settle, lay down your roots, start a family. The one you describe to your parents as feeling ‘like home’ and, after seeing you two together, they follow up with the ‘you’re very well suited’ phone call.

We’re all looking for a Melbourne, but we’re too often dating Sydney. Melbourne hasn’t grown up getting by on its natural beauty, which is why it’s developed such personality and sense of humour over the years.

There’s a certain ease Melbourne has with itself where even the flaws add to the cool factor. There’s depth, heart, soul and culture. Sure, sometimes it can be a little messy, and Melbourne’s mood can change as quickly as the weather (one second it’s icy cold, the next it’s red hot) but weirdly it makes you more determined to figure out how to live together, to ride the famous four seasons in one day with intrigue.

READ MORE: Melbourne Loses Title As World’s Most Liveable City

Maybe it’s the European roots, but the way Melbourne feels about food and coffee is religious. It knows all the little hidden bars and cafes, and there’s this feeling of discovering something new for the first time every time you hang out together.

Lygon Street, Melbourne. Image: Getty.

If you’re taking Melbourne on a date, art and culture are a must -- a good art gallery or museum are sure to impress. But the real way to Melbourne’s heart is through music. There’s a deep respect and appreciation for live music of all kinds. Plus, you won’t be ‘locked out’ of the pub post 11pm either. Melbourne likes to party and will often let its hair down kicking on into the night (even a school night!).

Sydney, on the other hand, has grown up getting by on its natural beauty. Most people are so mesmerised by the obvious good looks they’ll just sit and stare at it for hours -- especially when it’s rocking a tan in summer.

Bondi Beach. Image: Getty.

But when you delve deeper to have a heartfelt conversation with Sydney, you don’t get much more than a sunny disposition in return. Sometimes you feel a yearning for something more -- culture, intellect -- but every time you go to have the ‘I need more from you’ chat, you’re lured in again by the beauty.

You know you’ll never find another as gorgeous! It’s the trophy you show off to everyone who visits you, you’re proud you’ve managed to find a sense of home together when Sydney has had so many summer flings and failed relationships with travellers over the years.

READ MORE: Can Sydney Thrive With Lockout Laws?

That being said, Sydney is impractical and hard to live with. Navigating her isn’t easy -- even if you had a map to figure it out, you’d still end up at the end of a one way street scratching your head wondering where you went wrong.

Sydney doesn’t ‘do’ public transport anywhere near as easily as Melbourne. It’s always a battle, not to mention its commitment issues with ‘parking’ yourself anywhere near its private parts -- in fact most of the time it’ll charge you for even a glimpse!

You look that side, I'll look this side. Image: Getty

Sydney likes the finer things in life and almost wants you to know you can’t afford to be together. Of course you have something to prove and struggle for years to maintain a lavish lifestyle, living beyond your means in an effort to impress. But in the end you land with a drained bank account and feeling inadequate.

So if you’re in the market and have a fair bit of cash (neither of these women/cities have cheap lifestyles) it’s easy enough to swipe around local listings on various apps these days. There you’ll find photos from every angle that showcase what’s on the local market that you can swipe through and ‘apply to lease’ at any time of the day or night without even leaving your couch.