What To Do When Your Ex Gets Engaged?
There are a plethora of avenues for you to take.
It would appear that model Hailey Baldwin and general royalty Justin Bieber are engaged. The story broke Monday, when a series of sources indicated they had seen Biebs propose to Baldwin in Spain on the weekend. The sources were tenuously confirmed when Baldwin’s father tweeted a suspect and gushy message about his daughter’s happiness, which was quickly deleted. The rumour was still pretty grey around the sides and wobbly until Bieber himself came out on Instagram and confirmed it to his $100 million fans, and Hailey followed tout-suite on twitter. Here’s the post from our bride:
"Not sure what I did in life to deserve such happiness but I am so utterly grateful to God for giving me such an incredible person to share my life with! No words could ever express my gratitude."
There was also some suspicion around an Instagram shot she posted only an hour after Biebs online love letter, and then quickly deleted, where she wasn’t wearing an engagement ring.
It kind of reminds of when I got engaged and the social media flurry which followed … in a parallel universe.
So here’s the thing ladies and gents -- Biebs is now off the market. For many of his ardent followers this might be tough a day/ week... or month.
In fact, some might take to bed, not leave the house, comfort eat, demand to know …. 'Why???!'
Similarly, his spate of ex's (including that high profile, talented, Selena Gomez type) might shed a Hollywood tear or two …. or not. Was he, sadly, the one that got away? Or, thankfully, the one that got away?
We all have one of those in our dating rap-sheet. Such occurrences may also make us look back on the times spent together with rose coloured glasses, and retro-fit a “where did it all go wrong?” narrative.
Ex or perceived ex (of the ardent Instagram follower variety), let’s look towards popular culture to see how you could react to such information.
Four ways to deal when your ex gets engaged
The trojan horse approach
Like Julia Roberts’ (Julianne) character in My Best Friend's Wedding, you can pretend you’re okay when your best friend/crush announces their engagement. Even supportive and congratulatory, and behind the scenes come up with an Iago-like plot to sabotage the wedding by infiltrating the wedding party and demonstrating to the object of your affection in an underhanded and slightly diabolical manner that you are indeed the better spouse. After all, it ended well for Julianne, she found a deeper understanding of herself and a series of interesting and colourful friends -- but take note, this approach did not produce the outcome, said ex, still got away. Nothing like concocting an elaborate, and somewhat diabolical sabotage plan though!
You could become delusional
You could become delusional. Think The Time Traveller’s Wife -- imagine you can bend time and go into some sixth dimension, so that you can reverse the outcome by changing the lead up events. I never did quite understand whether this movie /book was happening in their heads or in reality … I mean a time traveller who can’t take his clothes with him seems kind of odd -- and also a little creepy.
Swear off romance
You could just go off romance altogether like Anne Hathaway’s portrayal of Jane Austen in Becoming Jane. This means you can focus on yourself, likely become happy, churn out a series of books that come to define the literature of your times, and live on into the perpetuity as a literary great. Only downfall - given you remained single people will always be saying, “She/he was a great writer … sad that she/he was a spingster,” and then pull a constipated face. Clearly, being single is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person! Completely undesirable according to popular culture!
Like Steve Carrell’s character Cal Weaver in Crazy Stupid Love you should ditch the Velcro wallet, Jerry Seinfeld-esque white sneakers, and ill-fitting pants, get a haircut, an Armani suit and a really hot Guru/side kick, and win the object of your affections back with you 2.0. Looking at the body of evidence in films and literature, the dazzling makeover tends to produce outcomes. Interesting that we believe if we repackage the goods, the goods are better, non?
There are your bona fide, tried and tested, Hollywood options to such an announcement -- which will you choose?