If We Don't Stop Bagging Meghan's Style She'll Become Boring Like Kate
She's lovely and everything, but I just don't think we need two of her.
It would be pretty nice to be Duchess Of Sussex Meghan Markle round about now, right?
I mean, hey, the steep pre-wedding learning curve must be over and now she'll have worked out when to curtsy and who to. Plus she's a godamm "Your Royal Highness" for goodness sake. All the cucumber sandwiches you can eat. Access to some pretty awesome castles. What's not to love?
Well. There is one thing. Imagine if every time you left the house (albeit a big one) you got SLAMMED for what you were wearing. I mean, like totally dissed.
Your wedding dress? Too simple. Too plain. Too bulky. Too ill-fitting.
Your first Trooping of the Colour outing with the royal family? Too much shoulder-showing. Too pink. Too disrespectful. Too Hollywood.
Your first overnighter with the Queen. Too bold. Too clever. Too farshun.
Your dress for a society wedding? Too blousey. Too old. Too big. Too casual.
Yes -- you've heard of a storm in a tea cup, it seems poor Meghan has now managed to cause an uproar in an Oscar (de la Renta).
Attending the church wedding of Celia McCorquodale, the niece of Princess Diana, Markle wore a blue and white wrap dress by de la Renta -- pairing it with a $30 white fascinator from Marks And Spencer --and you'd think she'd gone naked, the amount of column inches that outfit grabbed.
Some called the look “too casual” for a wedding of this magnitude, while other people fired off at the fit of the dress, which they said was way too big for Markle’s frame.
“It looked like she was wearing her dressing gown,” wrote one disgruntled fan.
"Oversized and matronly," wrote another.
"Markle's fashion Debacle," opted one style site, oh-so-wittily.
People debated the merits of her recycling her wedding shoes. They ummed and aahed about her cheap chain store fascinator. Everyone had an opinion, and however they tried to pretend it was fashion-critique, it got pretty personal.
And it's time to stop. Look I know we all love to rate Hollywood's red carpet looks and, if I'm honest, that wedding outfit wasn't her best -- but I'm here to warn you what will happen if we don't.
Meghan will become Kate Middleton.
Boring, safe, dull. Look, she's lovely but no one ever really gets stuck in to Kate's fashion choices because, well, they're not memorable.
Sometimes we get excited because she wears something from Zara.
She wore Alexander McQueen to Trooping Of The Colour but it wasn't that flattering, it was just Royal. Classy, royal and boring as f***.
Heck, she wore a dress to Harry and Meghan's wedding that people even thought they'd seen before -- but it turned out they hadn't. WE JUST THOUGHT WE HAD BECAUSE SNORESVILLE.
Look I get it , Kate's being groomed to be Queen one day, and no Queen would wear THAT Oscar de la Renta frock, regardless of the price tag -- her style is plain, elegant and proper. She always looks nice, neat, approachable, put together. She's graceful. She's regal and respectful. She dresses like the kind of woman you could trust to run a country, bring up three children and remember people's names.
I just don't think we need two of her.
Meghan dresses like someone who's used to being on the red carpet but is trying to take it down a notch. And that's how it should be. She's a member of one of the oldest monarchies in the world now, and short skirts, crop tops and thigh high splits are a thing of her past. But it doesn't mean she has to be dullsville.
Harry isn't William. He's the spare not the heir, and as such he can let his hair down a bit. Let's just make sure we give Meghan the same courtesy.
Feature images: Getty