New Bacon Patches Are Designed To Help Vegetarians Give Up Meat

They’re kind of like Nicotine patches, but they smell way better

What you need to know
  • Are you a vegetarian and want to smell like bacon?
  • Of course you are! Read this.

It’s hard becoming a vegetarian because, as we all know, animals are delicious. But eating animals is also bad, probably. So, to help vegetarians stay vegetarians, scientists have come up with an ingenious and weird way of helping them reduce their cravings: bacon patches.

My lord this looks good.

Inspired by the success of Nicotine patches that have helped smokers wean off cigarettes, a professor in experimental psychology has developed a patch that is infused with the smell of bacon.

Every vegetarian when bacon patches are released.

The idea behind the invention seems simple enough – meat-craving vegetarians simply have to scratch the patch to produce a whiff of bacon, which apparently will help them reduce their cravings for the meat.

To be honest, there seems to be a major flaw in this logic. Wouldn’t the smell of bacon actually increase your cravings if anything? From personal experience, when I smell bacon I cannot continue with my day until I have located and eaten the bacon. It would literally drive me insane to smell bacon and not have anyway of satisfying the need to eat bacon.

But, according to the Oxford professor behind the invention Charles Spence, the opposite is true. “Our sense of smell is strongly connected to our ability to taste, therefore experiencing food-related cues such as smelling a bacon aroma, can lead us to imagine the act of eating that food. Imagine eating enough bacon and you might find yourself sated,” he told The Telegraph.

It’s an interesting theory that merely imagining something can make you satisfied. Right now I’m imagining having $1 billion and, if anything, I feel less satisfied about my finances. Of course, it’s much easier than doing it cold turkey, which literally involves slapping some turkey slices onto your arm.

Professor Spence is developing the patch with plant-based food producer Strong Roots in the UK, and this week is trialing the patches with people aiming to give up meat in Reading, Leeds, Liverpool and London. “Brits keen to adopt a vegetarian diet are about to get scientifically proven help to wean them off their love of meat,” a spokesman for Strong Roots said.

A recent study of 2000 adults found that giving up meat was harder than giving up cigarettes and alcohol, which is probably why it’s so rare to see an alcoholic, chain-smoking vegetarian.

If the bacon patch is successful, it could pave the way for a range of other meat patches to assist vegetarians. I’m predicting meatball, pork and schnitzel packs. Let’s keep going until all vegetarians smell like a meat-lovers pizza.