This Creepy-Ass Doll Is Definitely Haunted And You Can't Convince Me Otherwise
Haunted dolls have a special place in horror films.
There's the Annabelle franchise, the 1982 classic Poltergeist, even Slappy the animated ventriloquist dummy from Goosebumps, which was far too creepy to be allowed.
You know where creepy dolls don't have a place? Your HOME.
Which is why the entire internet was baffled when Twitter user Nerdy Vixen brought one of them into her house.
The doll's name is Abigail. What -- and I cannot stress this enough -- the f***?
Nerdy Vixen said she'd seen Abigail at an antique store back in March. "I kept thinking about this doll, seeing its face in my head," she wrote. "I decided it was time to bring it home today." Sounds like a haunting, but okay.
'Abigail' has no neck, no hair, and a mouth that looks like it was sewn up in some kind of Pagan ritual to stop bees flying out of it. Her eyes, made from bright white buttons, are wide open (a lack of 'eyelids' will do that to them), their piercing gaze akin to one sent straight from the depths of hell. The dress looks like a child's Christening dress. Is that child dead? Maybe. Did Abigail kill it and wrestle its clothes from its still-warm body? Almost definitely.
Nerdy Vixen claims Abigail didn't move in the night, and also claims her cat hasn't reacted badly to this demon doll. ("The animal instinct is good.") But anyone accustomed to haunted dolls and their general horrifying vibe will tell you that murders do not happen on night one. At best, you'll awake in the night, hear the pitter-patter of oddly shapeless feet, and think to yourself: did I leave Abigail in the kitchen? Or the end of my bed? You can't remember.
Abigail's owner is committed to doing whatever she can to "keep her happy". So far that means: buying her a little bench, attempting to feed her pizza, and using hydrogen peroxide to test the suspicious brown stain on her dress isn't blood.
She even has her own Twitter account now: 'Abigail: The Totally Not Haunted Doll', serving you some basic bitch realness with a side of hauntings.
Nerdy Vixen -- who remains alive, and not murdered by Abigail -- has promised to keep the Abigail updates coming. And if things start to become a bit... strange?
"I'll try to record it. And then burn some sage."
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