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As Ireland Humilated England In Cricket, A Sydney Pub Did The Unthinkable

No, they didn't run out of Guinness. It was much more drastic than that.

They showed the cricket. Seriously, that's it. According to 10 daily's somewhat hungover Irish sources, Sydney Irish pub PJ O'Brien's actually showed cricket on TV.

Why is this a thing? Because Irish people, as a rule, do not enjoy things which might be construed as quintessentially "English". Cricket is seen as one of those things.

But a funny thing happened recently in world cricket. In 2017, Ireland was granted official Test cricket-playing status by international cricket's governing body, the ICC. Then overnight, an even more unexpected thing happened.

Read it and weep into your warm beer, Poms. (Photo by Gareth Copley/Getty Images)

In their first-ever Test against England -- and just their third against anyone, after losing their first two to Pakistan and then lowly Afghanistan -- Ireland bowled recent One Day World Cup Champions England out for just 85 at Lord's, the spiritual home of English cricket.

Yes, 85. As in, a pitifully, embarrassingly, hilariously low score. Naturally, Irish folk across the world were delighted.

And they didn't miss a chance to tie the scoreline in with the wider English narrative of the day.

Chief destroyer for Ireland was right arm seamer Tim Murtagh, a previously unheralded trundler just nine days shy of his 38th birthday.

He actually plays his county cricket for Middlesex, who are based at Lord's, so he knows local conditions well. But what you really need to know about Murtagh is that his nickname is "Dial M" as in "Dial M for murder". Ha!

We've contacted PJ O'Brien's to ask about the moment they decided to screen the carnage on their previously cricket-free screens, but they're either a) hungover, or b) sleeping, or c) both. We'll keep trying.

But if anyone's got a hangover, it's got to be the Poms. After winning the One Day World Cup less than two weeks ago, this is the capitulation nobody saw coming -- and it bodes well for the upcoming Ashes from an Australian point of view.

If only England had picked their Irish-born One Day captain Eoin Morgan in their Test squad, they might have had a player the calibre of their opponents.

At Stumps, Ireland had been bowled out for 207, a lead of 122.