'It Slid Up': MMA Fighter Sticks Toe In Opponent During Illegal Kick
British mixed martial arts fighter Alfie Davis was up against Brazilian Jorge Kanella in London in the Bellator 223 event on the weekend, when... ouch!
Davis was on the canvas with Kanella hovering menacingly over him, when the big toe appeared to enter a place where the sun don't shine.
Davis staggered to his feet, gently feeling his sore spot. Yeah. Sensitive. Gonna be feeling that for a while.
"I'm talking to him cos I'm lying on my back and... he was doing little kicks and I wanted to stand up..." Davis explained afterwards.
"So I'm sitting there going 'come on come on, let's go, let's go' and I saw his face change... and then he went BOOM, right in my bum at the bottom of the balls.
"It slid up," Davis explained of the precise area where the toe struck.
Wait, hold the phone. So the toe didn't exactly go inside what Australian sport fans would recognise as Hopoate territory?
"When I stood up it was right in the gooch... sorry I don't mean to use that term," Davis confirmed.
We thought "Gooch" was a former England opening batsman, but when we googled it, we discovered it was "slang for the perineum, or the area between the anus and genitals, usually on a man".
So there you go. Don't say you never learn anything reading sports stories.
"It's normally pleasureable for a man, the gooch, we all enjoy the gooch, but not when you're being kicked straight in it," Davis added with a big smile on his face.
OOOOOKAAAAY then, that'll do nicely. Reckon we've all heard enough about this story now.
For the record, Kanella was deducted a point for the indiscretion, and Davis won the fight. We hope his gooch is feeling slightly less tender.