Here's Why This Butt Cheek Tatt Of Eddie Betts Is Perfect

Allow us to explain all of this.

Earlier today (see story below), we told you that Eddie Betts had a fantastic match on the weekend, booting six goals in his 300th AFL game.

We also mentioned his bet with his brother-in-law Tom, in which Tom had to tattoo Eddie's face on his butt if Eddie kicked five goals, which he did. In fact he kicked six.

Here's that tattoo. It's not exactly Eddie's face.... wait, or is it?

The image is in fact the cartoon likeness of Eddie, as featured on his kids' book that launched last year, entitled 'My Kind'.

For the record, the word "kind" in the title refers both to Eddie's indigenous heritage, and also to the act of being kind to others, which is something this gentleman footballer has always done even if certain others have not been so affable towards him.

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Eddie Betts played his 300th AFL game on the weekend as the Adelaide Crows set upon the Gold Coast Suns 18.11 (119) to 6.10 (46).

Sometimes, like birthdays, these milestone games are a bit meh. But not this time. Not on Eddie's big day.

The 32-year-old Crows forward's mercurial footballing skillset has always defied description -- to the point where the mere mention of his name is enough to suggest something impossibly unlikely just happened.

Well yesterday, suffice to say that Eddie Betts really Eddie Bettsed it.

He was dominant all day, but the moment towards the end, when he goaled from an impossible angle, was sheer genius. How did he actually do that? How did he keep the ball in? How did he slot truly from that angle, and from that distance?

You already know the answer. Because Eddie Betts.

"Eddie Betts you're a magician, that's what the crowd wanted and that's exactly what they got," a commentator finally managed to say after a prolonged commentary box chorus of "whoaoaoaoaoaoaoaaoargrrgrgrh!"

Betts then confirmed that he made a bet with his brother-in-law Tom in which Tom would have to get a tattoo of Eddie on his butt cheek if he kicked five goals.

He kicked six. We firmly believe that equates to two tattoos -- one on each butt cheek. Over to you, Tom.

Meanwhile in other AFL news, Carlton won its first game since July last year and kicked its first 100 point score in almost three years. It took until literally the last second to rack up the triple figures, but let's not be glass half empty. This was great stuff.

Also, the ladder is officially upside down. We're hearing that St Kilda is ACTUALLY on top after five rounds. Further inspection of said table does indeed appear to verify this improbable situation.

This is confusing. We need coffee.