Competitive Russian Slapping Is Everything You Think It's Going To Be
Value your brain cells? Well do we have a sport that's not for you.
The rules are simple.
- Stand at a white table -- specifically, one located in Russia;
- Slap the absolute living daylights out of the man standing opposite;
- In return, let said man slap the living daylights out of you;
- Repeat steps 2-3 until one of you bows out or gets knocked out.
Held in the Siberian town of Krasnoyarsk a few weeks ago, the first-ever amateur Slapping Championship is as simple as it is outrageous.
As part of the Siberian Power Show, the event allowed any men attending to try their hand at the sport, which for some unknown reason doesn't appear to have taken off across the globe yet.
Many of those who stepped up to the plate had simply attended the power show and decided to give it a go.
The grand prize of 30,000 rubles -- about AUD$650 -- was taken home by Vasily Pelmen.
Weighing in at more than 160kg, Pelmen goes by the nickname of Dumpling, according to one reporter.
Contest? Don't make Dumpling laugh.
Footage of the competition shows Pelmen breeze through his challengers, a few times even appearing to render men nearly-unconscious.
The competition picks up where its professional counterpart seems to have left off last year.
The first National Slapping Championship was held in Moscow in May as part of the Sarychev Power Expo -- the gathering of Russia's best and burliest.
The US has even dabbled in the sport. Videos from the 2015 Inkmasters Tattoo Convention in Texas of a much less official slap-off contest went viral at the time.