Go Home Footy Ladders, You're Both Drunk

This is disgraceful. Monday morning and you present yourself to the world looking like this.

You can do better than this, AFL and NRL ladders. You really can.

Seriously, do you actually expect us to believe that after round one of the AFL, the Giants, Dockers and Lions are the top three?

And as for you, NRL ladder, what the hell is up with the Wests Tigers in number one spot -- a lofty position they have never once occupied in this, the 20th year of the joint venture?

Clearly, these two ladders were thrown together at the last minute in a hasty rush, like a teenager getting dressed in clothes that were strewn across the floor.

Either that or the ladders are just drunk. As evidence, we submit:

  • The Brisbane Lions -- who in the last three seasons finished 17th, 18th and 15th -- played reigning premiers the West Coast Eagles, and beat them 102-58?

  • The Essendon Bombers -- who everyone said would finally return to be a powerhouse this year after several years in the post-ASADA scandal wilderness -- limply capitulated to an under-strength Giants by 72 points.

Oh, and guess who starred for the Giants? Yes, Stephen Coniglio, who the Giants featured in an annoying but excellent song last week.

READ MORE: Don't Start Your AFL Season Without This Appallingly Catchy Song

  • The NRL's Parramatta Eels -- who reliably suck year after year -- have won their first two games quite impressively.

  • The Dragons are winless after two games, which is not what anyone expected of a team tipped to do good things this year. Give the coach credit. He's not making excuses.

You can see the full NRL ladder here and the full AFL ladder here.  But be careful. You'll probably get drunk just looking at it.

Oh, and if you missed the Isaac Heeney mark after just one minute of the Swans/Bulldogs match, wow! (For Swans fans, that was probably the only minute of this Bulldogs victory you needed to watch.)