Names And Numbers Proposed For Ashes Shirts Because Nothing Is Sacred Anymore

Tradition is dead. Marketing people rule the world. Resistance is futile.

Players in The Ashes will have names and numbers on their shirts, in what many people consider a violation of the centuries-old tradition of a game played in the elegant, understated vanilla apparel of yesteryear.

This is all because of thing called the ICC Test championship which begins in July this year, and which is actually quite a good idea.

Up until now, teams would play Test series, and the win (or loss) would count for little except pride. Under the new championship, results from every Test series will count towards a table, with a final to be played in England in 2021.

This is actually a pic of the Tassie players in the Sheffield Shield. But it gives you an idea of how the Aussie might look, i.e. bloody awful. Image: Getty.

It is proposed that players in every one of the nine teams will have names and numbers on their shirts. Why? We don't know. But we do know that Cricket Australia seems enthusiastic about it.

In a statement, CA said its operations department "is understood to be well in the planning phase to produce numbered Test shirts for this winter's Ashes squad".

Because yeah, you obviously need an entire "planning phase" before you sew a few digits onto a shirt.

This seemed like a good opportunity to put a random image from the 1989 Ashes tour into a story.  (Photo by Adam Butler - PA Images/PA Images via Getty Images)

To be fair, players in Australia's state competition, the Sheffield Shield, wear whites with names and numbers. But that's because nobody except extreme cricket tragics knows who the hell most of them are.

If Test players are really that anonymous that they need names and numbers for identification, then the game's in a lot more trouble than anyone realises.

And in other news, they're tearing down the beautiful old stands at the SCG and replacing them with parking lots. OK they're not really, but this idea feels about as wrong.