Vegemite Spreads Salt Into English Wounds After Crushing Ashes Defeat
In a sledge for the ages, Vegemite has taken out a full-page ad in the U.K.'s Daily Mirror to brag about Australia's sensational Ashes win.
On Monday Australia broke an 18-year hoodoo at Edgbaston with a 251 run win over England in the first Ashes Test.
It was the first time Australia won the opening game of an away Ashes series since 2005, and England fans were salty.
So salty, they've picked a fight with Australia's number one citizen: Vegemite.
Members of the so-called 'Marmy Army' have announced they will be handing out free jars of Marmite at matches over the next six weeks in a bid to secretly encourage Australians to jump ship, according to the Mirror.
Not only did Vegemite accept the challenge, it stepped things up a notch -- or 10 -- taking out a full-page ad in the same paper to gloat and ridicule the efforts of England's national cricket team.
And the banter is SENSATIONAL!
"G'day," the spiel begins in SCREAMY CAPS.
"News has reached Down Under that free jars of Marmite are being handed out at the Ashes to prove it tastes better than our Vegemite. Are you guys Barmy? Of course the refined English palate will prefer yours.
"You see, Vegemite is a far stronger taste, made of resilience and fortitude with a dash of cunning and guile. Vegemite tastes like back-to-back tons on your return test. Vegemite tastes like a come-from-behind victory by 251 runs.
"You lot won't like the taste of Vegemite. Because Vegemite tastes like Australia.
"Catch ya at Lord's," the ad concludes.
The hilarious, well-played response has had thousands of shares and likes across Twitter and Facebook.
As expected, most agreed that Vegemite is a far more superior spread.
There's no word from Marmite -- yet -- but it's safe to say they'll be looking to even the scoreboard.
The rivalry at next week's Second Test is tipped to be next level.