The Real Problem With Kylie Jenner's Floor-Length Braid
On Sunday evening, Kylie Jenner debuted a ridiculously long ponytail in a photo on her Instagram account.
While it's likely the braid is just a hair extension (unless she has some sort of overnight miracle growth serum we don't know about) a number of her followers took issue with the hair style.
"Truly is the year of the rat," one commenter wrote, while another asked: "You got a tail?"
Even her sister Khloe Kardashian commented on the over the top pony tail, writing, "Don't ever call me extra again."
While I wasn't personally offended by Kylie Jenner's metre long braid, it did make me think of all of the women who wouldn't be able to pull this look off.
Not because it was first worn by Kylie Jenner or because we don't have access to hair extensions, but because if you have thick hair, you know this hair style would be completely unmanageable.
As someone with thick hair, without seeming ungrateful for my abundance of locks, I wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t quite so thick.
Those of you in this same hair group will feel me when I say, these are the truths only those with thick hair will know to be true:
You can’t do anything with it
Despite having lots of it, thick hair is near impossible to do (at least for amateurs like me).
The times I have tried something different from my go-tos -- a ponytail or a plait like Kylie's, it ends in disaster or me throwing a hairbrush in frustration.
Buns take up your entire head, those ‘chucking up fold over ponytail’ things hang down like a sack at the back of your head and curling or waving your hair looks more like an uncool afro than the ‘beachy’ style you were going for.
Hair ties break all the time
Firstly, there are really only some hair ties that will work for those of us with thick hair. Those minuscule clear bands that hairdressers always try to pop in your hair and small hair ties with limited stretch will never suffice.
Even when you can get your hair into a larger one with stretching capabilities, you are still not guaranteed success. Why? Because they snap while you are doing your hair.
Heck, sometimes this even happens the middle of the day while your hair is up.
Getting your hair coloured costs a small fortune
As a woman blessed with her mother’s early greying hair and not ready to embrace it at 34-years-old, colouring my hair is my option of choice.
But anyone with thick hair like me will know that when the hairdresser mixes up only one packet of hair dye, that will soon be back mixing up another packet (or two) shortly after.
This means more time and more money.
Thick hair weighs a tonne, especially when it’s wet
Thick hair is heavy and when it's wet, it can feel like it weighs a tonne.
If you’re at the beach or at the pool, you will often tie your hair up like one of those ‘precious’ people just because you don’t want your neck to ache with the weight of your hair if it gets wet (and because you don’t want to wash it).
Which brings me to my next point...
Washing and drying your hair is a job
Washing your hair is often an only weekly or twice weekly event because we know that it is a ‘job’.
The act of shampooing and conditioning is an arm and hand work out in its own right but then drying it, well lordy, schedule in a good half hour and that’s just to get it dry. If you want to straighten or shape it, add another 30 minutes.
By the end you need to sit down and catch your breath in order to make it through the rest of your day. Did I say it’s a job?
Doing an up style is an endeavor
On those occasions where you employ the help of a hairdresser to do an up style (because honestly no one else has any hope) it takes about three times as long as any normal haired person and requires a sh*t load of bobby pins and hairspray. It's really not fun for anyone involved.
Even after it’s been thinned it looks big
“Would you like me thin it out a bit?” my hairdresser asks at every appointment.
“Hell yes,” is always my reply, more excited than one should be when asked a question like this.
While definitely an improvement (my neck is especially grateful) thick haired people know that even after a good thin out that our hair still looks big, despite the hair left on the salon floor looking like they've shaved someone's entire head.
While I often hear the phrase ‘big hair, don’t care’ touted on social media, for some of us, we do. And Kylie Jenner clearly doesn't understand the pain.
Featured image: Instagram