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Why I’m Considering Killing Off My Elf On The Shelf This Christmas

As December quickly approaches, my Elf on the Shelf anxiety is rearing its ugly head.

I know that in the matter of days I will have the added pressure of little Elfie to my already at maximum mental load. And to be completely honest, after two years of hiding her around our house, I just have no more ideas of where to put this festive ‘helper.’ Plus, (Grinch alert) I just don’t want to anymore.

When Elfie joined the my family in 2017, she was welcomed happily by all. My children loved her because man, she was such a funny gal. Always cheekily hiding in unexpected places or getting up to mischief.

For my husband and I, she was always imperative in getting our girls to behave themselves or follow instructions, which was especially helpful around bed time. With the knowledge that Elfie was always watching them and her BFF relationship with the man in red it meant that listening, manners and behaviours improved tenfold. It was heaven.

Shona with her two daughters. Image: Supplied

But around mid-December last year, this changed. On this fateful night, I woke in the very early hours of the morning (VERY EARLY) in a full-blown sweat. I was panicked because I remembered Elfie was still perched on the indoor plant where she had been yesterday morning.

With this realisation, I forced myself out of bed and snuck downstairs to move the tiny lady who just stared back at me, grinning (what a bi***, I thought) and quickly shoved her around the corner onto the shelf (no, not creative, but at 2am as long as she wasn’t on the plant I didn’t care).

This was the moment that I knew this visitor had outstayed her welcome. But because I consider myself a decent parent, I decided that Elfie couldn’t simply up and leave so close to Christmas. My girls were fond of her and it would break their hearts.

Shona is sick of The Elf on the Shelf. Image: Instagram

So I did what I had to get through. I set an alarm on my phone that went off each night at 8.30pm when I knew my kids would be asleep and I moved Elfie then and there.

I Googled ‘Elf on the Shelf tips', where to hide them and cheeky things they could do (of which there are many). From this research I came to the realisation that a.) Holy sh*t, some people really get into Elf on the Shelf and b.) I am not one of them (at least not anymore).

So I made a plan. I jotted down a list of places she could go so I didn’t have to think about it for the remaining ten or so days and like any household chore, each day I just did it and ticked it off my list.

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Yet evidently this Elf on the Shelf pressure wasn't enough. Along came all the stories of what everyone else’s Elves did and how they were always so much more imaginative, fun or cheeky than ours. My daughter would come home from school with stories of her class Elf riding the ceiling fan or her friend Olivia’s Elf that left her little gifts at her house.

“Why doesn’t our elf do anything fun?” she asked.

Well, hun, that’s because your mum has other things she needs to do or would prefer doing and no longer finds Elfie helpful, as she is marketed.

In fact, Elfie adds to mummy’s stress and mum may soon have an Elf on the Shelf breakdown.

This will be the reason she is not around this Christmas but instead, in a padded cell somewhere far away.

No, I obviously didn’t say this (at least not out loud). But I most definitely did think it along with how Elfie could go MIA before Christmas 2019 so I no longer had to do this.

But what do you know? December is nearly here again and Elfie has already been mentioned in passing conversation. It seems with my lack of a plan to kill of Elfie and the excitement of my two children, she’s back for another year of festive cheer.

I am about to set my nightly alarm for 8.30pm and Google ‘more places to hide Elf on the Shelf'.

Featured image: Instagram