I Filled Out My Daughter's School Enrollment Form And Cried
It used to drive me nuts when I would be out with my two daughters and total strangers would approach me and say, “Enjoy them while they are little, they grow up so fast!”
Despite this wisdom usually coming at times when I was at the end of my tether and had my hands filled with shopping bag while trying to wrangle two girls under five, I was appreciative of the sentiment. Well, sort of.
Though I should've taken a bit more notice of these life doulas because as it turns out, they most definitely had the ‘intel’. These strangers were 100 per cent right. Kids do grow up fast -- really bloody fast.
For me, this realisation came last week as I began filling out my youngest daughter’s primary school enrollment form. ‘Name’ -- it asked me. Simple you would think, I mean, I did name the child. But no, it wasn’t simple at all.
You see, rather than writing her name down in clearly printed text, as per the form request, I started to cry. It was as if a reality bomb had detonated in my brain without any forewarning and my emotions were the collateral damage.
You might think this reaction is over the top but the truth is, I cried so much that the enrollment form became translucent. It represented something more like tracing paper than an official form that would secure my child a place at this particular educational institution.
I balled because I realised for the first time how much I would miss by baby girl.
For nearly two years, on Mondays and Tuesdays -- when I have not been at my paid employment -- it has been just myself and my youngest at home. On those days we would have what we dubbed ‘Milla Mondays’ (see, I do know her name).
From these past two years, we have also formed many special memories together. Finding crabs in rock pools on a day trip to the beach, bumping into ‘Santa’ unexpectedly at the shopping centre and reading story after story to fill in a rainy afternoon. They were our little adventure, just her and I.
While I have undoubtedly enjoyed these days, like any normal parent, there have also been the occasional ones that have tested my patience. There have been times that have made me want to hide in the cupboard or somewhere that Milla wouldn’t find me for at least five minutes.
Dare I say it, there were some days where I would have preferred to have been at work because that seemed much more relaxing than looking after a small human. But now as it approaches the end of the year, I have realised my stage as a part time ‘stay at home mum’ is nearly over and my little Milla Moo is all of a sudden not so little.
I am soon to be a daytime empty-nester and my youngest is to become a school student. That will be the reality for years to come.
As I looked down at the form, that once submitted would officially see her joining her new daytime community, this fact all of a sudden became very apparent and very, very real.
In a mere few months, there will be no little voice calling me to play Barbies or Lego.
No snuggles on the couch while watching Miraculous and Bluey.
No ‘gardening’ outside which is code for getting completely dirty and wet.
No ‘coffee’ dates at the café and no jumping to the Disney mega mix at the trampoline centre while attempting to not do my back.
While my days will likely be much more productive, they will be far less energetic. They will be filled with an unfamiliar silence and an emptiness -- that, for a while at least -- will be hard to get used to.
Featured image: Supplied