Welcome Back To Work. Here's How To Tell If Your Colleagues Hate You.
Want to know if your colleagues don't like you? It's all in their body language.
You see, in a workplace, it can be tricky to know if someone is ignoring your ideas because they're rubbish or because they actively dislike you. Or both.
Just like Karen in accounts, what a loser.
And according to behavioural expert and body language guru Dr Louise Mahler some of the body language clues we can pick up on in everyday life don't actually mean the same thing in an office environment, so it's little wonder we're confused, Karen.
"If someone is leaning into you on a date that's a sign they're interested," she told 10 daily, "but if someone does it at work, that's actually a sign of aggression."
But there are certain behaviours that work for both dating and the workplace -- like, well, just showing up. "One of the worse things we do at work to show we don't like someone is not be present," said Dr Mahler.
So if they never call you back or pop over to see you, chances are they're not fond of you or your ideas.
"If they like you, they will turn up in your space or ring you," she continued. "Also not only are they visible but they respond to you -- which means that they reflect back what you say or empathise with what you say."
Other signs you should look for that suggest they DO like you (they really like you!)?
"Another good sign that someone likes you at work is laughter and jokes, because laughter is the bouncing of the diaphragm which shows they're relaxed in your company," said Dr Mahler.
Eye contact is important too, she told us, but warned that staring is a no no.
A normal blink rate is one every four seconds and if someone is staring at you and not blinking that is never good."
A big sign that your work colleagues don't like you? They interrupt you and cut you off (and it may come as no surprise that one sex does that more than another). "Men tend to interrupt women all the time -- and that's called 'manterrupting'" she said.
So how do you deal with someone you don't like -- or you feel doesn't like you -- if you're working with them? Dr Mahler says there is a right way to sort it out.
Karen, take note.
Physically maintain a "neutral rest position"
"This means your body is upright, your eyes are blinking, your head is nodding and your air is flowing, so you're not giving away a pissed-off message, your body is giving away a neutrality that is just professional," she told 10 daily.
Have a "feedback script"
This is a psychological script that has four separate stages and is used to change behaviour.
- You have to describe the situation
- You have to express your feeling about it
- You give a reason for that feeling
- You offer an alternative behaviour
"So you may say, 'When I feel your eyes staring at me I feel concerned because I feel it's quite aggressive -- was there something we can do to soften the conversation?'," suggests Dr Mahler. "Or 'When I am interrupted, I feel concerned because I feel I have something to say, is it possible I may I have a few moments to finish?'"
Soften the convo
"If you want to you can soften the conversation with positives at the end or the beginning, too. Say something like, 'this is a great conversation, but on the other hand when i'm interrupted...'" added Dr Mahler.
Go get 'em tiger. You're great -- and so are all those ideas. Well most of them. That one about the kitchen? Not so great... but you can't have everything, Karen.
Feature image: Getty