Why Katy Perry Should Probably Just Become A Permanent MasterChef Judge
MasterChef Australia first premiered in 2009 -- back when a little song called "Hot N Cold" was topping the charts and on high rotation on plenty of radio stations.
One of Katy Perry's most popular hits was chosen as the theme tune for the cooking competition and those opening bars have signalled the start of every episode for the last twelve years.
So it was only fitting that the voice of the series finally made it to the hallowed kitchen to revel in her status as the Patron Saint Of MasterChef: Australia -- where even her entry through the doors felt like a deity returning to earth.
Katy's entrance was always going to be a sensation but what we didn't expect was just how naturally she fit in as a culinary judge, which is why we'd like to petition for her to consider returning to join Jock, Melissa and Andy on a more permanent basis.
She's Constantly Writing And Performing Kitchen Jingles
Katy made us realise that we've been missing out on MasterChef: The Musical for years now. The singer not only busted out an a capella version of "Hot N Cold" she also turned time calls and instructions into melodic jingles.
Sarah Clare noted from the gantry that she won't be able to get Katy's "You've Got Five Minutes" out of her head and, if someone can please drop a beat underneath it, it could be Katy's next dance floor banger.
Katy also busted out some tunes for Poh and Sarah Tiong, which would also be singles on her new MasterChef album we just decided should be a thing.
"Hey Poh, you almost burnt off my tongue/You're making an impress-ion!" she crooned at the back of the kitchen after tasting some very hot duck rendang.
As Brendan put it: "Katy Perry is singing, why can't our judges do that?"
Katy Breaks The Fourth Wall
Breaking the fourth wall and staring right down the barrel of the camera never, ever happens on MasterChef and is usually reserved for the mockumentary genre like The Office.
Which is why we loved it when Katy kept staring into our eyes through the TV after landing a joke -- it's like she's our friend, sharing a little MasterChef secret with us all.
She Cracks The Whip
Katy warned the five immunity cook contestants that she wasn't going to be nice to them, she was going to tell them exactly how she felt about their food.
She also let them know exactly what was on the line at the pointy end of the cook.
"Not to stress you out but you only have ten minutes until your whole self-worth is defined, everything that you have ever lived for is in jeopardy... in ten minutes!"
Her Hips Don't Lie
If you're ever unsure whether Katy is enjoying the plate of food in front of her, wait and see if she begins gently twerking, vogue-ing or swaying with her eyes closed and you'll have your answer.
Her Judging Notes Sometimes Include Saucy Handmade Props
After tasting Reece's rum baba cake with smoked honey Diplomat cream, Katy picked up a white napkin and began creating some kind of origami -- even though she mentioned earlier she had a sprained thumb.
With some perfect comic timing, and prop artistry, she presented the napkin on her chest, shaped into a crisp, pointy bra, looked Reece dead in the eyes and said: "You're the tits, Reece".
No Katy, it is you who are the tits -- please come back to MasterChef to serenade us with jingles any time.