‘You Could Go To Jail For That!’: The Goggleboxers Weigh In On Toilet Paper Rationing
Discussions about bathroom etiquette can get pretty heated at the best of times, but the Goggleboxers were more passionate than usual when the subject of toilet paper arose.
Watching a very important scientific investigation on Netflix’s 100 Humans series, the households entered into some historically controversial debates about the humble dunny.
While some (Anastasia and Faye) cackled with glee after hearing the premise of the episode, others, (including Mick and Di) shook their heads in disgust.
“Why would you want to see how people clean their arse?” Kaday asked bestie Chantel.
The Gogglebox families then copped an eyeful of the experiment participants showing off (clothes on, of course) how they get things done when they sit atop their bathroom throne.
First up, the ~toilet scientists~ asked the age-old argument about how to hang your roll on its holder, with the paper hanging over or under.
“I know how to do that, 'Lee, the toilet paper needs to be changed!'" laughed Keith.
While Tim and Leanne agreed that “anyone who does under is insane”.
The bathroom lab rats on 100 Humans were then asked to demonstrate how much TP they gather to get the job done -- with one woman looking as though she was pulling in a large fishing net from the sea, whipping sheet after sheet towards her before stuffing the luxurious pile into her hand.
“Jeepers,” dad Matt exclaimed to the Dalton family.
“You can go to jail for that now,” Faye told her bestie Anastasia, alluding to the current unavailability of toilet paper in Australian supermarkets due to the coronavirus crisis.
The majority of the households agreed that seven squares was simply too much to spare, especially when there are currently limits on how much TP you can buy at the supermarket -- if there’s even any left.
But Anastasia told Faye there was no cutting corners when it came to her bathroom ritual.
“I’ve got a big arse, two squares isn’t going to cut it on my arse, mate,” she said.
The 100 Humans experiment moved on to the process of wiping (front to back?) as well as whether people turn around to take a peep at what they’ve created in the bowl, and it was just all too much for Di.
“Oh my god,” she said. “That was repulsive”.
The informative Gogglebox segment ended with Anastasia treating us to a demonstration of her wiping habits and a Greek proverb she uttered in her mother tongue before giving the English translation:
“You can’t have a poo without a wee."