‘I Don’t Deserve To Treat Myself Well’: Dilruk Jayasinha Speaks Candidly About Self-Worth, Alcohol And Food
The comedian opened up to campmates about the years he spent getting “blackout drunk”.
Speaking to Erin Barnett and Myf Warhurst, Dilruk said he liked drinking but “loved being drunk more”.
“As much as I enjoyed my scotch and beer, I loved that feeling,” he added.
Explaining that he would go out and often get “blackout drunk” to the point where he’d wake up not knowing where his wallet was, but he would have pre-prepared hangover cures on the kitchen bench.
“In a way it’s kind of junkie behaviour,” Myf said.
In an interview back in 2015 before the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Dilruk said he would go cold turkey before shows because, “I know myself. Once I’ve had one, I’ll have more.”
“I love drinking, but I love standup more,” he said at the time.
In his stand-up Dilruk has spoken about how his drinking really picked up when he came to Australia at the age of 19. His “identity” in Australia became tied to drinking. “That’s how all my friends… all the good things in my life start with booze.”
After a comedian friend took him to Alcoholics Anonymous, Dilruk began going to therapy and told Myf that about three years ago he stopped drinking.
“Through three years of therapy I’ve figured out where that came from,” he said, “why that numbness was required.
The 34-year-old told Myf he believed so much of his drinking and eating came from a lack of confidence.
“In the past you hate it so much, you go ‘I’m a piece of sh*t I don’t deserve to treat myself well because I’m a piece of sh*t’.”
“It was the lack of confidence. Being unconfident because I thought I was fat and ugly and wasn’t cool enough,” he continued. “Weirdly, losing the weight only happened after I accepted my entire self.
“It’s because I like myself now… that I am willing to now be careful with what I eat or be conscious of what I eat and also do a bit of exercise.”
Dilruk started a health kick in January of 2018, where he and his mate Ben Lomas made a bet to see who could lose weight and get to 100kgs first. Later that year Dilruk did a half marathon and a few months ago he did a full marathon.
In August last year Dilruk celebrated three years of sobriety, posting to his Facebook, “I don’t miss my various gross behaviour in those boozy years”.
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