'I’m Acting Like An Absolute Kook': Why A Champagne And Caviar Date Was All Wrong For Angie And Timm
After the cocktail party from hell, Angie decided that a fancy date with Timm was just the palate cleanser she needed.
Even though the Bachelorette was well aware Timm was probably the last guy in the group who would feel comfortable slipping into a tux, she decided she'd like to see "how he is being fancy".
The decision ended up being a huge mistake because, the combination of a luxury car, ridiculously expensive food and uncomfortable clothing sapped the down-to-earth duo of all their natural chemistry and things got... weird.
Angie And Timm Are Not Rolls Royce People
Can you see how uncomfortable Gold Coast Angie and Port Douglas Timm are in that stuffy British whip? Things were already off to an awkward start during the drive to their date because the luxury vehicle just wasn't a ~relaxing~ environment for the pair.
The Car That Should Have Been Chosen: We can see Angie and Timm having a much better time in the back of a Holden Kingswood station wagon, or even a VW Kombi.
They Both Looked Extremely Uncomfortable In Their Posh Outfits
Timm said from the very beginning that he just wanted to rip Angie's gloves off and give her a kiss, which sounded weird when he said it but now makes perfect sense.
Angie hit her head on the car door because of the awkwardness of wearing a tiara, she was probably sweating through those satin gloves (remember how palms are always moist, like Ryan?) and Timm ditched his top hat as soon as he could.
The Outfits That Should Have Been Chosen: Angie and Timm were much more comfortable when they swapped their glad rags for swimwear later on, so they probably should have conducted this entire date in beachwear.
Caviar Might Be Expensive, But It's Not The Food Of Love
After finding out that the Royal Beluga Caviar from Iran cost $1000 a kilo, neither Angie nor Timm looked that impressed. Instead, they looked a bit intimidated and felt like they definitely had to eat the squishy, salty fish roe so they weren't pouring money down the drain.
Timm confused the accompanying blinis and sour cream for pancakes and ice cream and got a rude shock when he learned the meal wasn't a dessert course.
"Have you ever had sushi with the Nemos on top?" asked Angie.
"You know how they’re the little Nemo fish eggs, like the orange? But these are like if Nemo wasn’t a peasant fish," she said to her dining companion.
Beautiful, sweet Timm didn't let on that he "absolutely hated" the upper-class Nemos but looked extremely morose as he was force-fed more of the cav from Angie.
The Food They Should Have Eaten: Timm mentioned that the caviar tasted like something from his tackle box so he clearly enjoys catching, and probably eating, most seafood. We would have prescribed some fish and chips, wrapped in newspaper for a more relaxing atmosphere.
The Fanciness Really Made It Feel Like A TV Show
The most magical 'Bachelor' and 'Bachelorette' dates are the ones where the couple are able to completely forget that they're surrounded by a film crew and become totally immersed in each other.
The champagne, caviar and dress ups were all a very visual reminder for Timm and Angie that this is a TV show and they were being WATCHED.
"Just pretend no one else is around," said Angie after Timm said he needed to loosen up.
But the vibe was stale, and Timm was even called away by a producer for a chat under the guise of checking his microphone was still working.
The solution: Dates with Timm should hereby not proceed unless they're some kind of beach picnic, surfing trip, or in a sunflower field.
Eureka! Everything Got Smoothed Over With Some Bath Water
Fewer items of clothing equals fewer problems. Timm and Angie shed their luxury threads to share a bath that was filled by someone who has never heard of the Archimedes principle, but the sloshing of bathwater meant the pair were much more comfortable in their own skin.
Timm said he was glad they'd endured their "beautiful mess" of a day together because the imperfection was "just a lot more real".
So maybe all the awkwardness was necessary for Timm to realise that yep, he's in a bit of trouble and his feelings towards Angie are getting very real.