'I Have Crumbled Like An Old Piece Of Cake': Timm's Funniest Lines From That Disastrous Date
Timm has made a name for himself as the poet laureate of 'The Bachelorette' this season.
Even if you're not exactly sure what he means (like his duck catching joke), Timm has a way with words that paints a rich description of life as he sees it in the 'Bachelorette' mansion.
Timm was thrown out of his comfort zone for his single date in which he was dressed up in a tux and top hat, chauffeured about in a Rolls Royce and treated to a posh meal of champagne and beluga caviar.
And while the over-the-top scenario made him feel extremely uncomfortable and at a loss for words in front of Angie, the overload of opulence helped Timm produce some of his most hilarious observations from the whole season.
"I Look Like Russell Brand Outta 'Arthur'".
Timm was not wrong when he compared himself to Brand in the titular role of 'Arthur' -- the 2011 remake of the '80s comedy. Much like the film that has a 26 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, Timm's date with Angie was an expensive flop.
"It Actually Tasted Like Some Fresh Pilchards Out Of My Tacklebox Back In Port Douglas".
When Timm saw the blinis and sour cream laid out for the fine dining experience he thought they were skipping straight to dessert with pancakes and ice cream.
After learning they'd actually be eating $1000 a kilo caviar from Iran, Timm politely closed his eyes and swallowed but was less impressed by the ocean-fresh taste, comparing the flavour to fish bait.
"I Have Crumbled Like An Old Piece Of Cake".
Angie was trying her best to keep the conversation flowing but eventually gave up when Timm was clearly checked out and barely responding.
After the producers threw him a lifeline and offered to "check his mic" Timm explained away from Angie that he didn't understand why he was so nervous.
The normally vivacious bachelor compared his composure to some stale cake (which he probably would have preferred over caviar) and it was heartbreaking to see his humour was only disappearing when he was in Angie's presence.
"It Was Like Putting A Baby Giraffe In A Paddling Pool".
Finally, Timm and Angie broke through the awkwardness with an over-filled bath providing some comic relief.
While Angie described the wet and wild mess as "fricken Titanic" Timm also painted a very visual description of a wild animal jumping into a kiddy pool.
"Are They Meditating Together Or Something?"
Okay, this wasn't part of the date but we couldn't leave out Timm's jealous comments when Angie and Ryan were having a private chat.
Like a wide-eyed marmoset scurrying through the bushes, Timm reached the private area right before the pair were leaning in for a smooch.
The reason? He was concerned they were sitting so close that they might be taking part in some kind of shared meditation session.
Which for some, could be considered more intimate than kissing? We're still not totally sure but will continue to applaud almost anything that comes out of Timm's mouth -- except that caviar he definitely spat into the bushes somewhere.