'For Something I Thought Would Be S--t, I'm Surprised How Wonderful I Am': Kyle Sandilands Is Here To Lay Down The Law
It's the show that answers the age-old question: what would you get if you crossed 'Judge Judy' with a goon bag.
Melbourne Cup Red Carpet EventsMelbourne Cup Red Carpet EventsThe cases are real, the people are real, the judge has absolutely no legal background whatsoever. Welcome to 'Trial by Kyle', a kind of Kangaroo court which places all the power in the hands of one of radio's biggest celebrities: Kyle Sandilands.
"What sort of people are these people," Kyle told 10 daily over the phone about some of the cases he presided over.
It's a wild time, with Kyle trying his best to be a fair judge in some pretty wild cases. There are disputes over choreography, over stolen nuts, broken beds, there are drag queens, professional arm wrestlers -- at one stage an Instagram influencer wants to sue a family member for a childhood injury he believes has cost him modelling jobs as an adult.
The cases may be ridiculous, but absolutely everyone is taking the grievances seriously, including Kyle.
"When I was in court [for his 2006 defamation suit against Seven Network] at any stage I could have lost and would have had to pay Seven's court fees which would have crushed me," Kyle said.
"I'm a righteous person under all the yelling... these people talking about a bag of f--king nuts. I thought -- it all evens out. What my problems are were just as important as someone who owes someone $13, or someone who knocked a mirror of someone's car.
"These are huge problems in people's lives. They may seem petty to me but they're not petty to that person."
While Kyle has no proper legal background to actually make his rulings, by his side is Anna Heinrich, an actual lawyer, to guide him and give advice on rulings.
"I was really keen to get her on the show because she's a beautiful lawyer that actually knows what she's talking about," Kyle said, "I'm much more street justice," he added.
Anna's briefed on the cases ahead of time but Kyle only receives bullet points before cases are brought before him. "I have to get the rest of the s--t out of them," he said revealing that in some cases he was speaking to plaintiffs for over an hour and a half.
"We edit the s--t out but I wanted to really find out what the big deal was and take it seriously for them."
Kyle doesn't suffer fools, and unfortunately for him, he saw a handful of fools come through the courtroom. Unfortunately, if someone got him off-side, he explained there was no saving them.
"You can't say that real magistrates aren't doing the same thing just with different lip service," he added.
"There were plenty of people that weren't my cup of tea, but I always tried to be fair," he said, adding, "If they continued to be such a cock that everyone hated them I would just throw [the case] out, dismiss it or give it a little amount.
"I was very fluid with my verdicts based on what they did, what the argument was in court and how they conducted themselves."
Kyle's not just stepping into the role of judge for the series, in some cases he ended up becoming part therapist, part relationship counsellor.
"I'm trying to mend friendships on here," he said. "I've got lifelong friends lying to each other over a red light camera ticket! You just feel sorry for them, some of these people. Like f--k, you're going to lose a lifelong friendship over this?"
For those considering bringing their cases before Kyle, his advice was simply "bring evidence".
"A lot of people show up and I couldn't do anything for them," he said, emphasising: "Bring. Evidence."
The cases are wild, and no one handles it better than Kyle. Just ask him.
"For something I thought would be s--t," he said, "I'm really surprised at how wonderful I am in it."