Which TV Auction Is More Brutal? ‘MasterChef’ Or ‘Australian Survivor’?
'Australian Survivor' and 'MasterChef' both play host to some very delicious auctions.
The stakes are high, the rewards are tantalising and the twists are exhilarating, but the rules of the games on the reality shows are a little different -- so we decided to compare the two to see which one is more hardcore.
Let the games begin!
The Forms Of Currency
On 'MasterChef', you don't bid with money, you bid with minutes. The contestants have to trade precious cooking time to try and secure premium ingredients. Which means if you spend up big on that piece of pork belly, you might not be left with enough time to actually cook the cut of meat properly, and raw pork is pretty much guaranteed food poisoning.
'Survivor' contestants are handed out actual money, which is, unfortunately, useless back at the camp because there's no supermarket or pizza delivery service for them to save it for later. Everyone is given $500 pocket money with the state of play very similar to an actual auction.
The more brutal option: 'MasterChef', obviously. There's a lot of danger at hand if you're rushing in the kitchen to fillet seafood or meat with a sharp knife, plus there's the added danger to the health and wellbeing of the judges who could potentially eat something undercooked. Brutal.
In his bespoke tartan suit and electric yellow cravat and pocket square, Matt Preston makes for a formidable auctioneer -- someone who would look right at home at Christie's or Southeby's overseeing the sales of rare Fabergé eggs.
Matt uses his position of power with the gavel in a way that appears intimidating but he also gently pushes the contestants in the right direction like the kind culinary mentor he is.
"Peanut butter with John Dory and the citrus?" he asked Tessa in mock horror, urging her to bid again on the coveted box of herbs that she absolutely needed to jump on to avoid elimination.
Johnathan LaPaglia, on the other hand, in his casual tee, baseball cap and disarmingly charming manner is the smiling assassin who seems as though he's here to help but will absolutely screw you over with his tricks.
The 'Australian Survivor' host might try and sell you a delicious milkshake... or he could sell you a bamboo cloche full of LIES.
Last year, he very happily let Brian Lake drop $320 on a bowl of food he probably never wanted to see again in his life -- rice.
"You said you were watching your weight, I'm just trying to help out!" insisted Jonathan to a very disappointed, rice-fatigued Brian.
The more brutal option: Looks are deceiving but Jonathan is a much sneakier auctioneer. This one goes to 'Australian Survivor'.
The Delicious Rewards
This year, Gary, George and Matt unveiled auction items that included John Dory fish, eggs, pork belly, lamb rack, citrus, nightshades, alliums, root veg, a box of spreads, a collection of dry spices, a bouquet of herbs and a selection of sauces.
Tessa, Derek and Tim had to bid wisely to try and buy the right combo of produce, because no one wants to be stuck with eggs, Vegemite and fish and be expected to make an inevitably disgusting dish.
The rewards on hand for our Australian Survivors included a chocolate milkshake, poached eggs on toast, a whole goddamn pavlova, a burger and fries with Coke, a jar of lollies, rice, three nights in a comfy double bed or a spot at the 'beggar's table' -- which disqualified Shane from further bidding.
The more brutal option: Definitely 'MasterChef'. The Survivor contestants are bidding on items that have been pre-prepared for them, which seems kinda lazy? Even Shane got thrown a few scraps from fellow contestants who took pity on her.
'MasterChef' cooks are using their time and their culinary skills to create a dish... for someone else to eat, with the risk of elimination looming over them -- a much more difficult feat.
Sorry, we don't make the rules, 'MasterChef' is just a much more challenging competition, both mentally and physically. You can try and change our minds but honestly, no-one on 'Survivor' would stand a chance at ~surviving~ a two-day croissant challenge, this apple pie marathon or attempting a dessert that has 67 steps and takes four hours to cook.
It's time to change 'Outwit, Outplay, Outlast' to Out-blitz, Out-glaze, Out-blast-chill!