'Five Bedrooms' Episode 5 Recap: Housemating And Heartbreaking
Sorry for any spelling mistakes, someone put all these tears in my eyes.
Tonight’s episode is a difficult one to rank in terms of who had the best and worst week because so much was tied up with matters of the heart, and as an emotionally stable (please don’t fact check) adult who is not crying as they type this (do not ask any follow-up questions), it’s difficult to say who came out on top this week.
Still, I’ll give it a shot. From worst to best, here’s how our housemates went this week.
Lachlan - Negative one million
Listen, and I say this as someone who routinely has six glasses of wine and responds to Hugh Sheridan’s Instagram stories with heart-eye emojis (don’t ask! I’m fine!). Lachlan is no bueno. YES, his suit shirts fit him like a warm hug from an angel and YES he always looks like a sad puppy that just needs a hug, but this dude is no good.
Ainsley - 5
As someone who identifies as an Ainsley (with a rising sign of Heather) this week felt like the beginning of a downward spiral. From her bungled admission of love to Ben while Heather was still dangling out of his bedroom, to the anxiety-inducing confrontation she had with Lachlan (boo) and his wife, things weren’t great for Ains.
Harry - 4
I know, it’s so mean to put old mate so low after such a rough episode, but here’s the thing… everyone else fared slightly better! Not only were Harry’s struggles with coming out (more on that in another story) rough to watch, but the slow building of a good thing with Policeman Pete seemed to fizzle after the awkwardness of finding out Harry wasn’t out to his mum in the worst way possible.
There’s no greater nightmare than pretending like you’re not dating someone… unless that nightmare also means you’re forced to pretend like you watch cricket.
Poor Pete. Poor Harry. This week was a rough week.
Heather - 3
Heather and Ben’s unexpected relationship definitely took me off guard initially but after a few weeks I was ready to have #Beather t-shirts printed. Then what happens? All of a sudden Heather gets spooked with the news of Ainsley’s confession of love and -- worse -- even more spooked by the news that Ben might actually have some serious feelings for her too.
Still, she’s not that far down the ranking this week because as far as graceful escapes from a housemate’s bedroom go… that window climbing was incredibly entertaining.
Ben - 2
And on that note, old mate Ben still manages to impress with his good guy tradie thing going on. He gracefully dealt with Ainsley admitting she had feelings for her, rather than making a worse mess of things, and was completely honest with her (which, let’s face it, is what Ains needs sometimes).
On top of that, sexy cleaning of the house was definitely a highlight.
Rock Bottom Liz - 1
After losing her job last week and spiralling to the bottom of a wine bottle in her old garden, Liz had nowhere to go but up this week. And here’s the thing: Rock Bottom Liz is strangely who I aspire to be as my best self.
Rock Bottom Liz drinks a nice red wine in the early afternoon, paired with a bowl of Cheezels. Rock Bottom Liz has a whiskey decanter in her bedroom. Rock Bottom Liz does three workouts in the same day.
But more than that, Liz was also the epitome of friend goals for Harry this week, there for him at every turn -- especially after how much he’s had to put up with over the last few weeks. Also, seeing the way she was ready to leap to his side when he was going to try to come out to his mum (the first time) was ridiculously heartwarming.
Next week sees Heather celebrating her (don’t say birthday) birthday, and Ainsley speaking a LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO LACHLAN FOR OUR LIKING THANK YOU VERY MUCH.