'Five Bedrooms' Episode 4 Recap: Emotionally Bankrupt
As the nation spent the week recovering from the absolute shock of Heather and Ben pashing, this week it was all about everything crumbling around Liz.
You know when you have one of those bad days? Well, this was like one of those days on that kind of cocaine only reserved for rock stars and Columbian children.
Still, it’s time to look at the week that was for our housemates and rank them on how they fared by the end of it.
Liz - 6
Yeah, as we mentioned, things began to slip out of Liz’s control this week and if Liz were ranking her top five favourite things, three of them would be control. (The other two things would be wine and more wine.)
Facing bankruptcy, Liz’s place in the house was put in jeopardy -- actually, the entire house was at risk -- which not only put a lot of pressure on Liz but also put her in a delicate position with her relatively new housemates and co-owners.
On top of all that, she was legally required to let her employers know, which ultimately led to her immediate termination. On top of all that, Liz is at the bottom of this power ranking -- which is probably the worst of all. How will she -- a fictional character -- recover from this indignity?
This week was a necessity in the life of Liz, the crack in the facade that finally allowed her to let go of this image of her perfect self that she desperately kept trying to project at work, at home and, I imagine, at some swanky pilates class where they also serve gin. Like a phoenix, everything for Liz exploded, but now she has the chance to rise from the ashes of her old life and maybe find a yoga studio that offers goon.
Heather - 5
As someone who once had to pour dish soap over day-old nuggets that were bulk-bought the night before so I didn’t eat them out of the garbage: I understand leaning into temptation. Unfortunately for Heather, there’s not enough dish soap in the world to ruin Ben and his very charming smile and his nice bum.
Still, breaking one of the few rules of the house (don’t shag housemates) on top of jumping Ben right after receiving a call from Col (a phoneCol?) wasn’t a good look.
What was a good look, you ask? This:
Ainsley - 4
Oh Ainsley, still misreading signals from, well, everyone. Struggling through her mega crush on mega babe Ben, Ainsley was also given the short straw and was the one to break the news to Liz that the housemates had decided she should move out.
Sure, Ainsley didn’t know that Liz had JUST lost her job when she answered the call, but honestly, that should have been a face-to-face chat, right?
Ben - 3
His participation in the ongoing Heather and Ben romance (he’s the Ben part!) is troubling and despite his incredibly cute courting practices (ute-temperature beers and novelty sunglasses are the way to every girl’s heart, and by every girl I mean adult man me) it’s still breaking house rules -- a show on a different network, pls don't sue.
Luckily for Ben, he won us back with his perceptive eye and surprisingly good gaydar for recognising early sparks between Harry and Officer Pete.
READ MORE: Meet The Housemates Of 'Five Bedrooms'
Harry - 2
Harry finally stepped out of his office and into someone’s mouth, FINALLY. The good doctor’s date might have been a bit of a mess but that didn’t stop us from being absolutely charmed by the whole endeavour.
Having to be Liz’s tether to what it means to be a functioning human being who knows what empathy is, struggling to come out to his mum and giving free skin cancer checks to every single person Ben has ever met -- Harry’s been busy. So busy that he hasn’t really had any *Harry* time. All that changed this week and thank god. Oh -- and speaking of his date...
Officer Pete From Number 58 - 1
Winner winner stop-and-frisk after dinner. If you didn’t swoon when Officer Pete showed up in uniform, or when he wrestled a drunken old man (an eery glimpse into my future? Perhaps. Definitely perhaps), you HAVE to have swooned when he was an absolute delight on his and Harry’s date.
From his patience with someone checking their phone during drinks to not sprinting for the nearest exit when the chat of the night turned to housemate drama and missing persons, Officer Pete is the MVP of my heart.
It is very cool and normal to have a crush on a TV character, it’s completely healthy and if you agree please email my mum and tell her because she won’t stop telling me to “date real people” as if that’s a thing.
Next week promises more drama, more Harry and more Ben and Heather action. Cannot wait.
Five Bedrooms airs 8.40 on Wednesdays on Network 10 and WIN.
Featured image: Network 10.