Bachelor In Paradise 2019: Star-Crossed Lovers? An Astrological Deep Dive Into The Connections In Paradise
Have the stars really aligned in Paradise?
In the interests of love, we decided to plunge the depths of every Instagram account (and tagged photo) of our Paradise stars in an attempt to hunt down their birthdays -- and figure out if we can pin any of their characteristics to their star signs. But more importantly, we needed to discover whether any of our couples are truly compatible, according to the mystical world of astrology.
Because, tbh, using the zodiac is probably the only useful tool we have in working out who anyone in this fickle lot will end up with.
In this important investigation, we’ve included Bach alum who have already left Paradise, just to see if anyone missed out making a connection with their true soulmate. And also because we started to notice a few very important patterns about the star signs of our loved up castaways.
Paradise Is Absolutely Full Of Capricorns
According to our calculations, Nathan, Brooke, Party Brittney, Zoe and newcomer Caroline are all Capricorns, the earth sign represented by the ambitious and persistent mountain goat. According to AstroStyle, Capricorns are often the "popular people" of the zodiac who are "born with their eyes on the prize", working steadily towards their goals. Which checks out, because Party Brittney never gave up on starting a conga line. True Capricorn persistence!
Compatibility wise, Nathan made a connection with Brooke, and has now given a rose to Zoe. And it's apparently a pretty solid coupling that can be "picture perfect" if two Caps can avoid getting bored by the "cozy stability" they provide each other.
There Are Also Probably Too Many Leos For One Island
As we scrolled endlessly for Instagram birthday posts -- we made the shocking discovery that Leos represented our second largest astrological bunch in Paradise. The most expressive and flamboyant sign of the zodiac, Leos often get "swept away in personal theatrics and romantic affairs", which -- ahem -- checks out.
Paddy, Alex Nation, Cass and Connor are all Leos, the fire sign represented by the proud lion that hates coming in second and being ignored. It makes sense that none of our Leos made moves on each other because there'd probably be too much ego and jealousy for one relationship!
But given the abundance of Leos and Capricorns in Paradise (even though Brooke, Paddy and Party Brittney have now left) are the two signs a recipe for success, or disaster?
According to AstroStyle -- the temperaments of the image-obsessed signs are like "night and day" and the coupling could lead to a "vanity and superficial dynamic". Which means it was probably for the best that Alex Nation called time on her connection with Brooke.
Shannon, Alisha And James Are All Librans, And It Shows
Ah, Libra, the hopelessly romantic and charming sign ruled by Venus, the planet of love and luxury -- but also the sign that is completely unable to make any decisions. Librans tend to be quite happy sitting on the fence and are often terrified of being disliked by anyone. Our Libras in Paradise (James, Shannon and Alisha) have been true to form -- careful not to hurt anyone's feelings, usually to their own detriment.
James and Alisha probably would have been better off telling Alex Nation and Jules respectively to shove it basically immediately, in our astrologically informed opinion. Shannon was also thrown into a Libran vortex of indecision when Davey Lloyd declared she was "wife material", leading her to an emotional crisis choosing between him and Connor.
The Rest Of The Astrological Cocktail, So Far
Cancer: Rachael and Ivan
Scorpio: Davey Lloyd, Cat and Florence
Sagittarius: Vanessa Sunshine
The only Paradise hunk whose birthday we were unable to track down was American Alex -- who has clearly scrubbed all his social media of birthday content to avoid this kind of astrological stereotyping.
Interestingly, there's not a Virgo or Gemini in the whole bunch -- unless that sneaky American Alex is a secret Gemini and doesn't want anyone to think he's crazy.
The Couples Who Won't Work Out, According To The Stars
Alisha and Jules
Jules And Alisha have been on rocky ground ever since Tenille sashayed her way into Paradise -- but will the pair that once enjoyed that saucy oyster-eating session together be able to pull through by the power of their astro-connection? Probs not. Although they can share the same ideals, Librans are "polished and non-confrontational while tactless Aries goes right for the jugular". Sorry, guys!
Vanessa Sunshine And Nathan
Yeah, we know this ~connection~ was doomed from the beginning, but we miss Vanessa Sunshine and this investigation is just a good excuse to unpack why Nathan never had a shot with our queen. And it's not because he's a "party boy" as Vanessa once said, but because he's a Capricorn and she's a Sagittarius! It's a song of fire (Sag) and ice (Cap) according to AstroStyle, with the two unable to "coexist in the same atmosphere". While Capricorns love family time during the holidays, Sagittarius would much rather book a plane trip to somewhere random after throwing a dart at a map.
READ MORE: Vanessa Brings The Sunshine To Paradise
The Couples Who Might Actually Have A Chance Outside Paradise
Alex Nation And Bill
We hate to say it, but Bill the Aquarius and Alex the Leo have quite a sizzling astro match. Although both are prone to "dramatic outbursts" they both allegedly understand each other's "carefree and childlike ways". Sure.
Cass And Richie
Although Cass is still hanging out for Richie to actually kiss her -- it could eventually be a ~sensual~ and luxurious pairing. And although both signs apparently love tapping their credit cards, they do know how to enjoy the good life together. Awwwww.
Rachael And Richie?
We had some trouble tracking down a photo of Rachael and Richie in the same shot in our Bachelor In Paradise folders -- but, according to the stars, Rach might have been right about their compatibility. The pair first met on Richie's season of The Bachelor but ultimately Richie wasn't feeling it in Paradise, focusing instead on Cass. AstroStyle says a match between Cancer and Taurus can be "soul stirring" because they both love tradition, staying at home and cooking for each other. A missed opportunity!
BTW, American Alex, if you're reading this: send us your birth chart.
Bachelor in Paradise airs Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, only on 10 and WIN Networks. Miss an episode? Catch up on 10 Play or 10 All Access!
Don’t have time for a full ep? Watch tl;dr instead!
Main Image: Network 10.