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Bachelor In Paradise 2019: Vanessa Brings The Sunshine To Paradise

“I’m Vanessa Sunshine and I’m from Nick Cummins’ season. Do I even need an introduction? People know who I am.”

With that, Vanessa Sunshine was back, bringing the sunshine to Paradise. Sharing that “people know [her] best for [her] attitude of giving zero fucks”, Vanessa is best remembered for being “not thrilled” about the Honey Badger.

Viewers were quick to note that despite her surname, Vanessa’s disposition was perhaps less than sunny, but Vanessa ensured everyone that she does know how to have fun.

READ MORE: Bachelor In Paradise 2019: Vanessa Sunshine Has Arrived In Paradise And Everyone Is Thrilled

“After being on the show, I didn’t expect people to have such a ‘oh my God, why are you called Sunshine? When you’re not even like, sunshiney?’ I’m like, yeah look, I have a good resting bitch face, but I do smile!” she said.

See! Look at that smile! (Network 10)

Asked what brought her to Paradise, Vanessa wasn’t about to start sugarcoating now.

“Well obviously, I got a s**t Bachelor, so I’m hoping that I have a bit more of a chance in Paradise,” she said, laughing.

“Tell me what you really think,” Osher replied, and Vanessa doubled down.

“What a joke,” she said. “ It might sound a little bit harsh but he was a prize I didn’t want to win.”

READ MORE: Bachelor In Paradise: Vanessa Sunshine Wants A Second Chance - 'They Gave Me A Sh*t Bachelor'

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Clearly, Nick Cummins was not the man for Vanessa. So who would be?

According to Vanessa, she’s looking for someone “funny and genuine, someone whose sincerity is something I don’t have to question and who doesn’t question mine”. And while looks may be a bonus, Vanessa is looking for more than that.

“You can be hot, but if that’s all you’ve got and that’s all you’re bringing to the table, like ‘oh, good for you, you’re hot!’ But I’m not willing to compromise and to settle on less than what I know I deserve,” she finished.

Vanessa knows exactly what she wants (Network 10)

Osher high fived Vanessa for her response, calling it “the best answer” to the question he’s ever had, before revealing that she’d be entering Paradise with a date card -- one that came with a catch. Instead of being able to enter Paradise and scope out the man of her dreams, she was going to choose her date sight unseen, by smelling the shirts of all her potential suitors.

READ MORE: Bachelor In Paradise 2019: Brooke Spills The Tea On Nick: "I Don't Wanna Protect Him Anymore"

“This is f**ked. All right,” Vanessa said, cautiously sniffing at the shirts.

Well reader, after declaring that the type of man she wasn’t looking for was “a party boy”, Vanessa unwittingly picked Nathan for her single date, and neither of them was particularly excited.

“Oh f**k,” Vanessa said in an interview, as Nathan approached her on the beach. “I picked Nathan.”

“I was... surprised... and I didn’t have super high hopes for the date,” she added.

Paradise or massage nightmare? (Network 10)

For their date, Vanessa and Nathan were set to give each other ~sensual~ oil massages, but after quickly coming to the mutual realisation that there were not going to be any sparks flying between them, they settled into having a laugh with one another. In fact, we even got to see Vanessa squeal with laughter as Nathan squirted a ton of oil on her back and massaged her with his “new technique” -- using his torso.

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“I will not be reciprocating that… technique,” Vanessa laughed, telling him that the massage was a “2.5” out of 10.

In an interview later, Vanessa added: “Honestly, the date was s**t”.

Will Vanessa find love in Paradise? It’s early days, but so far, no one has caught her eye. After meeting the rest of the men so far, Vanessa was once again left underwhelmed.

“Obviously, I was not thrilled. Based upon looks alone, I know what I’m wanting and what I’m feeling and, none of these men are it,” she said.

Better luck tomorrow, Vanessa!

Bachelor in Paradise airs Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, only on 10 and WIN Networks. Miss an episode? Catch up on 10 Play or 10 All Access!
Don’t have time for a full ep? Watch tl;dr instead!

Feature image: 10