The Bachelorette 2018: Hey Now, Hey Now, This Is What Dreams Are Made Of
Good evening, my dear readers, and welcome back once again! We're down to the final three! Can you believe?
We open on Ali, who's getting ready to catch up with Todd. She's super excited to see him again, but after meeting with his family, Ali has some lingering concerns about their mismatched timelines.
Ali picks him up in a horse and carriage. They tell each other they've missed one another and share a romantic, lingering kiss. It's nice! (Not nice enough to switch me over from #TeamTaite, though.)
For their date, they're going fencing.
Honestly, their outfits just reminded me a lot of Funny Games, so I'll be thinking about that for the rest of this date probably.
They duel, and after three rounds, Todd wins. Now, this is where I have to inform you that beautiful, hot Todd is a dummy, because he set the bet so that if he won he'd get a kiss when it's like, sis, she's been making out with you all day, what are you doing?! Ask for money!!!
Anyway, they pashed more, it was romantic, let's move on.
Meeting up for a drink after their
frenching fencing date, hot Todd says that he feels like "this is what dreams are made of". SING TO ME PAOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ali turns up for drinks in a literal wedding dress, which is a lot for me to take in right now, as I sit watching this in my giant Taylor Swift Reputation tour hoodie that I slept in last night.
Todd and Ali discuss their timelines, and Ali says that she knows she's ready for a baby now and is concerned about her biological clock. Todd remains positive and says that they could make it work and that he's willing to compromise on his three-year plan.
He also says that he knows he's the highest risk but assures her that his feelings for her will make him the highest reward.
Todd goes on to tell Ali that he loves her, and reader, I gasped and cried!
Ali kisses him, and says "that makes me so happy". She's thrilled! Her fears laid to rest, it's time to move onto my main man Taite's date.
Ali says that Taite lights her up and talks about their undeniable chemistry, but says that she's concerned about him not opening up about his own feelings for her.
Taite says that he's falling head over heels for Ali but that he's been holding back from telling her because he's scared of being hurt.
They're going to an obstacle training course, which sounds like my very own personal hell, but clearly, this is set up to be one of those things where it's like 'will they be able to overcome their EMOTIONAL OBSTACLES?!?!'
Oh, as I was typing that, Ali said: "today is about seeing if we can get over obstacles in life together".
Initially, they set out to beat the record, but then they make out at every obstacle and forget to try to finish the course. There's literally just a big supercut of them making out, I love it so much?
After overcoming the obstacles of the day, Ali and Taite hop in the jacuzzi to chat, and Ali hopes that they'll be able to overcome their final obstacle: feelings.
Taite says that he couldn't be happier with Ali, but holds back from dropping the L bomb or really exposing himself emotionally.
Ali doesn't love it.
Moving on, and it's time for Bill's date. Will he be able to redeem himself?
Bill's like, "wow I loved being in Melbourne so much, how good was it meeting my friends in Melbourne? The Melbourne trip couldn't have gone better, to be honest, I loved it so much. Didn't you? It was so great to see you meet everyone and I just felt like it was perfect!!!"
Meanwhile, Ali's like "lmao wtf bruh".
They sit down for a drink at a fancy house, and Bill just keeps talking about how Ali clearly likes him and how well it's all going.
He says he's "well and truly falling in love" with her, and Ali's like "mmm, awks".
While he's giving her the third encore of "our Melbourne trip was so great, wasn't it?" Ali's like "actually not really". She tells Bill that she felt "really attacked" by Amy and says that she asked Amy if they'd dated.
BILL SAYS NO!!! Ali's like "oh really because Ali said you had", and then Bill's like "oh yeah well... we've been together... but not dated." It's a mess!
Ali's like "hey you know how you just lied to my face, would you have come clean if I hadn't pressed you?" and he basically doubles down and says something about how he thinks of dating and being with someone as being different things, and huns, Ali's not having a bar of it.
She says that his response has made her realise that Bill will lie and sugarcoat things to make everything easier, and that she's not okay with it. They leave the conversation with Ali "feeling weird" about her relationship with Bill.
Going into the rose ceremony, Ali says that this is the first time she's been absolutely sure who she's going to send home.
Ali arrives in a MINI-DRESS like she's about to hit Studio 54 right after she gets rid of
Todd is stressed because he's never put his heart on the line like this before. Taite is stressed because although he's not ready to say 'I love you' just yet, he's nearly there, and Bill's like "I've done everything I can so it's up to Ali now".
Todd gets the first rose, cute!
Taite gets the second rose! Yay Taite!
Meanwhile, Bill and his tongue are sad.
Ali walks Bill out and tells him that her feelings for him just weren't at the level they needed to be. Bill hates it!
Ali -- an empathetic legend -- says she knows how much it sucks but that he'll find happiness in the future.
They say goodbye, and in the car, Bill's like "this is heaps shit aye?" but vows to keep looking for the one.
And with that, we're down to our final two: Todd and Taite! Will Todd be able to convince Ali to shift her timeline? Will Taite be able to open up about his feelings? Only time will tell! See you all tomorrow!
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