We Asked Julia Morris What She'd Do On These Terrible Blind Dates
She's the host of 'Blind Date' and loves playing matchmaker, but what happens when a date is bad? Like... really, really bad? We asked Julia Morris what she'd do in some bonkers blind date scenarios.
- A guy spends all of dinner telling you about his ex-girlfriends and how after each break-up he had to move out of their place and move back home. Then he asks how big your apartment is. You do this [makes alarm noises]. You back up out of there! Something’s up! If he keeps getting unloaded, I reckon it might be him!
- Your date drives, orders a beer, and then tells you their license is suspended for getting a DUI. Oh my goodness, that’s when I get on my phone, call an Uber and get out of there! ‘Coz if he’s gonna disrespect me enough to drive a vehicle while he’s suspended, it means if we have an accident, or if something happens to me -- how old am I, by the way?! -- I’m not covered by his insurance! Not by mine, either, so then I’ll have to cough up! That is not a partner for one night, much less for one night!
- Your date tells you they Googled you, watched a bunch of your videos, and then proceeds to offer you critiques on your performances. Ohhh, if I had a dollar for the sort of date where someone tells me where I’m going wrong. What do you do?! I think I’m probably polite ‘til the end of the date and then I’m like, never again. Drag, drop, delete. Who needs it?! I’d rather be by myself than with an idiot!
- Your date takes five phone calls through the date because they “don’t want to be rude to the people who are calling”. Amazing. If someone took five phone calls through a date with me, I’d say “you’ll have to excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom” and then leave. Phone someone who cares!
- You’re having dinner, and your date says: “Theoretically I should be providing for my daughter, but really my parents do that." Oh my goodness. You know what, I also wonder if I’m happy to offload because I’m married. At different levels of being vulnerable, maybe you do sort of stay and think ‘maybe it’s okay to be on the phone,” “maybe it’s okay that his parents look after his child, everyone’s entitled to a night out!” -- I guess I want to dig a little deeper and find out why are his parents looking after his child? ‘Coz if he’s not man enough to turn up for his own child, he’s never gonna be able to look after me. READ MORE: The Bachelor 2018: What Do The Bachelorettes Think About Online Dating? READ MORE: The Bachelorette 2018: Two Reasons This Season Is Fast Becoming My Fave
- Your date informs you that it’s their third Tinder date of the day Third Tinder date of the day would be amazing because I’d just feel really special! He has left me for the night time, which means he’s expecting a little overnight romance, and you know, I did use to like to have a go! I’d definitely want to make sure there wasn’t another one after me.
- Your date asks you for a ride to help their friend “move out”, but it turns out… they were robbing the place… Oh, what a highlight that would be! I would… drive him straight to the police station. Either that or I might go in and see if there’s anything I quite like, so I can just lift that first. I mean, we’re already there and that’s a lovely bowl, I’ve been looking for one for years! He’s done the breaking, he’s done the hard yards, and all I was doing was making him not feel so bad that he was the only one stealing on the night?! I don’t think I’d do that, I’m too goody-goody! I’d be too scared of getting in trouble!
- Your date picks you up but then swings back to pick up their mum, because she’s hungry and wants to tag along. You go to the movies, and she sits between you, talking through the whole film. Oh, wow… Yeah, that’s gonna be a little bit tricky for me because I find it hard to hold my tongue in moments like that. Or maybe the mum’s unreal, I’m gonna wanna hang out with the mum, and he’s offloaded. But I don’t understand how we’re gonna get to know each other if he can’t stand up to his mother.
- You chat online every day for weeks and they seem pretty interesting, but then on the first date, they try to recruit you into a pyramid scheme. Nothing says romance like a pyramid scheme! I’ve got no patience for it! Maybe I’m being big talk -- do you reckon I’m all talk being like “I’d just leave!” I’d be polite up until the moment it was time to leave. I’d be listening, ‘that sounds good!’ I probably wouldn’t wanna hurt his feelings and the truth is, I should be hurting his feelings and leaving!
- Your date tells you to dress up, and it turns out, you’re going to their aunt’s funeral Oh! That’s a nice first date! I’m so self-involved that I’d be thinking, “Oh this is how much he likes me that he wants to include me in a family moment, this really could be something.” Oh my God, how good’s the kissing gonna be?! Grief kissing is so hot.
Blind Date airs only on 10 and WIN networks, Mondays at 7:30pm.
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