Um, The 1998 ARIAs Sounded So F**king Lit, Hey
Okay, I've made you all a playlist so you can accompany me on this journey to a superior time. Don't say I never did anything for you!
Before we get started, I'll just mention that this playlist would pair well with an Impulse body spray, and would be the perfect playlist to accompany an afternoon spent reading Dolly magazines on inflatable furniture, eating pizza with your BFFs at a sleepover, painting your nails with Revlon Streetwear and applying Lip Smackers obsessively.
Now that we've got THAT out of the way, let's hit play on that bad boy and dig in, shall we?
It's no secret to an elderly millennial like me that 1998 was one of the best years in music -- it was, after all, the year that the legendary Miss Britney Spears first hit the scene with "... Baby, One More Time" and changed the landscape of pop music forever.
Don't come for me on that, you'll be sorry!!!!!
AnyWAY, what I didn't realise until today -- when I was instructed to find nostalgic content around the ARIAs to write about -- was how f**king lit the 1998 ARIA Awards would have been, and how lit Australian music was in 1998.
Here's the tea.
Album of the year went to Regurgitator for Unit, an album with the iconic smash hits "Polyester Girl", "! (The Song Formerly Known As)" and "Black Bugs". Honestly, the "high tech" video for "Polyester Girl" is still a wild ride from start to finish, and "!" still slaps as hard as it did in '98.
But it's not like this was the only good album out that year. Regurgitator beat out stiff competition in Natalie Imbruglia's Left of the Middle, Kylie Minogue's Impossible Princess, The Whitlams' Eternal Nightcap and You Am I's #4 Record. Between these four albums, there are bops a-plenty!
Obviously, Nat delivered us "Torn" (did you know it's a cover?! I write, rolling my eyes so far back into my skull I lose a contact lens, my soul tired from years spent rotting on Twitter where this fact goes viral every other month), as well as "Big Mistake" and "Wishing I Was There", songs which both deserve more respect in this world.
READ MORE: ARIA Awards 2018: Here Are The Nominees
Meanwhile, Kylie served one her best albums with Impossible Princess.
"Some Kind of Bliss"? "Breathe"? "Did It Again"? "Cowboy Style"?!?! Bops, bops, BOPS. I won't be taking questions or comments at this point, thank you so much.
Let's move on to Single of the Year. It went to "Torn", and was up against "Prisoner of Society / Second Solution" by The Living End, The Mavis' "Cry", Kylie's "Did It Again" and The Whitlams' "No Aphrodisiac". Songs! Just great songs. Classic Aussie tracks! "Did It Again" should be the new anthem and Kylie should be our PM for at least three-to-four weeks, which is how long they last anyway, right? (Ha, haha, ha, political humour! Great stuff.)
Highest Selling Album went to Savage Garden's debut album. Well deserved, obviously. I would murder someone in cold blood to make a Savage Garden reunion tour happen, but instead, I will just manifest it the way I did with Smash Mouth's 2018 Australian tour.
Savage Garden's 2019 Reunion Tour. I speak that into existence! "I Want You" to hear the line "chica-cherry cola" LIVE. I want to cry and hold my phone torch up to "Truly, Madly, Deeply"! I would literally travel "To The Moon And Back" to make this happen, and if it did, it would really "Break Me, Shake Me".
Meanwhile, the highest selling single award went to The Living End for "Prisoner of Society / Second Solution", two bops for the price of one, extra angsty for when your mum tells you to get off the phone and do your homework! Truly, nothing made me feel more like a prisoner of society, or like I was on death row. Relatable lyrics, would've made them my status if social media had existed back then!
Kate Ceberano was up for Best Female Artist for "Pash", a timeless classic about the joys of making out. An anthem! Anyway, she lost out to Natalie Imbruglia. Nat also won Best New Talent, beating out Bachelor Girl with their absolute banger, "Buses and Trains".
Since Nat also took home Breakthrough Artist for Single AND Album, Aussie bands like Grinspoon and Jebediah were paid DUST, but let's just take a second to remember the hit "Leaving Home".
The point to all of this is -- at the risk of sounding like An Old -- 1998 was really the peak of Australian music and everything is bad now.
Although I have no facts to support my forthcoming statement -- and I absolutely will not do any research to back up my opinions -- I'm pretty convinced that these kids today are at fault for the current state of the Australian music industry!
Okay, I'm going to go listen to my playlist, come back on Wednesday when we'll be covering all the news and music from the ARIAs and I'll have my happy face on, instead of my grumpy old woman face. Bye!
Feature image: Getty Images