Aquaman Reviewed By The Worst Guy You've Ever Met
A trident has three prongs. It's a Quindent.
When James Wan took on the solo outing for Jason Momoa's Arthur Curry aka Aquaman, he was handed a tough gig.
DC's film history has been troubled -- at best. Outside of Wonder Woman, the films in the DCEU pantheon was a who's who of critical flops.
So here are the basics: Aquaman is a gorgeous contradiction of a film. It's beautiful, and Wan's aesthetic and major set pieces elevate an otherwise dead fish of a script. But there's one super, super annoying thing.
They called Atlanna's quindent a trident.
Bit of background, iconic Australian actor Nicole Kidman stars in the film as Atlanna, queen of Atlantis and mother to Arthur. She escapes her underwater empire when she's forced into an arranged marriage and is rescued by a humble human lighthouse keeper, Tom.
In the DCEU she also possesses a quindent - a five-pronged weapon that Arthur inherits after Atlanna is forced to return to the ocean when he's just a toddler. Arthur had the quindent throughout Justice League and it even became a point of conversation during the press tour.
Aquaman famously wields a trident so there was confusion as to if Zack Snyder had just added prongs to make it seem like a more Extreme Fork.
Momoa cleared things up in an interview with WSVN TV saying, "I didn't call it a trident."
"It's a quindent," the actor continued, "but we don't call it that in [Justice League] and when you watch Aquaman you're going to see him go for the trident, so everyone's just got to stay tuned for a hot minute."
And he was right, the major driving force of Aquaman is Arthur's journey to find the Trident of Atlan.
So then why the f**k does Willem Dafoe's character Vulko -- the man responsible for training Arthur -- refer to Atlanna's quindent as a trident, despite it very obviously having more prongs!!!
This is very frustrating in a film where the script is bloated with very terrible dialogue, but the film succeeds in spite of it!
Truthfully, it's a whole lot of fun -- and it's one of the few times a blockbuster actually makes visually impressive use of 3D, it gives the ocean scenes a lot of... depth. Heh.
So that's what you need to know. The film is actually a whole lot of fun -- as long as you're not the worst person at every party who will become incredibly frustrated when something that is CLEARLY not a trident is referred to as such.
For that, we're giving Aquaman three out of five prongs.
Aquaman is in cinemas now and it's worth it to watch Nicole Kidman use a quindent to throw a couch. That honestly happens.
Image: Warner Bros.