James Van Der Beek Opens Up About His Wife's "Heartbreaking" Miscarriages
Of the emotional toll of a miscarriage, he said that "it will tear you open like nothing else".
James Van Der Beek has opened up about his experiences with miscarriage, a few days after his wife Kimberly revealed that she'd suffered three in the past eight-and-a-half years.
Posting a photo of himself and Kimberly with their youngest daughter, Gwendolyn, he wrote that he believes the term "miscarriage" should be changed because it "suggests fault for the mother", describing it as "insidious".
"From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do," he wrote, adding: "So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start."
Of the emotional toll the losses have had on his family, he said that it "[tears] you open like nothing else".
"It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced," he wrote, "so don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalise your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it its rightful space."
Finally, he shared about the process of moving through grief and what he's taken away from his experiences.
"Try to recognise the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before," he said.
"Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts," he said. "Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realise a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned ?)."
James and Kimberly have five children together: Olivia, Amelia, Joshua, Annabel and Gwendolyn.
Feature image: Getty Images