Millie Bobby Brown And Jacob Sartorius Broke Up And I'm Older Than Their Combined Age
What is sadder? This news, or me writing it?
Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, 14, and internet personality turned "singer", I guess, Jacob Sartorius, 15, have announced the end of their brief relationship via social media.
The pair, whose combined age adds up to how old I am, announced the end of their relationship via Instagram stories, a social media tool I use to update my mum on how my plants are growing.
"The decision with Jacob and I was completely mutual," Brown wrote on an Instagram story adding, "We are both happy and remaining friends".
Sartorius echoed the statement on his own story, because now teenagers need to release press releases when they break up with their boyfriends whereas we used to just tweet lyrics from sad songs for attention.
The pair first made their relationship "Instagram official" back in January of this year, with Brown posting a photo with a timestamp of December 31, however they had been linked previously by other adults tracking a then-13 and 14-year-old like they were the last unicorns on Earth.
During their relationship Brown, a literal child, was bullied off Twitter after people used her image in a series of homophobic and racist memes.
Accepting the MTV Movie & TV Award for Best Performance in a Show, Brown used her acceptance speech to speak about social media and bullying saying that "there should be no space in this world for bullying".
"I'm not going to tolerate it and neither should any of you," she said. "If you need a reminder of how worthy you are and to rise above the hate -- message me on Instagram."
So here we are, me -- almost entering my third decade of life -- writing about the breakup of two children, one with more grace and eloquence I've probably ever shown.
Very cool and not weird at all.
Featured image: Instagram @JacobSartorius / @MillieBobbyBrown